Fall from Grace
by 8state-of-flux8
Summary: AU It's been 10 years since she left Alex in Paris and Piper is struggling to deal with the awful truth that the normal life she so desperately craved has turned into a living nightmare. Now on the run she has struck a deal with a face from her past that is leaving her struggling to cope and praying for salvation. Rated M for language and mature themes.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N Well after saying I would be retiring from writing for a while after finishing 'Forever is a cruel illusion' to concentrate fully on my next exam I was wrong. This little plot would just not leave me alone no matter how much I tried to push it away!**

 **In this one Piper left Alex in Paris as per the OITNB storyline but then I start my own AU with a dark twist 10 years later. I hope as always you will give my story a go and let me know your thoughts in the lovely little review box :)**

 **WARNING: This fic firmly fits the M rating as it depicts the sensitive issue of prostitution if this is something that upsets you my advice is not to continue.**

 **To everyone else willing to give this one a go I hope you enjoy my first chapter.**

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With her eyes squeezed tightly shut she could almost lose herself in the stifling swirling darkness that usually she fought hard to push away. It tarnished her mind like oil, filling every nook and crevice, coating happy memories, dragging them deep beneath the surface so as only to allow her brain to relieve the awful truth of her current situation. But now she gave in willingly accepting the fear and sadness, desperate times called for desperate measures and in moments like this she relished in it. Relished in feeling anything other than the crippling shame and embarrassment or the sickening disgust and repulsion. Lost in the oppressive darkness she could ignore the heavy thrusting body above her own, could ignore the other's sweat dripping onto her skin and the animalistic grunting that was breathing putrid breath directly into her ear. The smell of sweat and sex, mixed with stale cigar smoke and the lingering scent of whiskey, threatened to break her trance like state but she struggled past it and tried to remain withdrawn from what was currently happening to her of which she had no control.

Better the devil you know, these were the words she whispered to herself at night when she bitterly realised that she had exchanged one form of hell for another. She had finally broken free from her abusive fiance's hands taking the only thing with her she held dear she had ran, ran and never looked back. Knowing she would not survive long on her own without that monster reclaiming her as his own she had been relieved when she stumbled unexpectedly into a figure from her past. With no money and no were to stay for a few glorious hours the man had seemed like an angel sent from above, to save her in her hour of need. It was not to last. She had soon realised that this had been a childish thought based upon naivety and hope. For once again she was imprisoned, a slave to a mans carnal desires, her body treated as a commodity. Sometimes when her own self loathing had quietened enough for her anger to rise she wanted to rage and scream at the unfairness of it all.

Feeling the body begin to tense above her she tried to stop the bile that began to rise from her stomach biting at the back of her throat threatening to choke her. Instead she forced herself to relax trying to find relief in the truth that this horrific experience would not have to be endured for much longer and she would be free for the next twenty four hours to be herself again. With a howl of triumph she both heard and felt the man's release the warm stickiness of his seed pulsing and as he pulled back from her body it oozed clinging to the skin of her thighs. Glancing down at the sight she couldn't help but choke down a sob as her body trembled with disgust. A heavy hand cupped at her cheek and she reluctantly opened her eyes bringing her gaze to the sweating man bearing down upon her trying to keep the revulsion from her face.

"Such a pretty little thing"

He smirked and gripped at her chin his fingers digging harshly into her flesh and she prayed it wouldn't bruise. She did not think she could bear the questions that such marks would invite.

"He picked well with you, blonde's have always been Mr Balik's speciality but you are different, far more appealing that his usual choice of common generic young whore"

Allowing the man to tilt her face towards the light Piper tried to keep her face impassive for fear of causing anger but the man merely continued to stare at her, his gaze inquisitive as if she was a mere puzzle he could not quite figure out.

"There's a determination, intelligence burning in these eyes and its captivating"

His gaze turned from intrigued to hungry as she smirked salaciously the gleam in his eyes primal "Next time I want them to be looking at me as I fuck you"

The feeling of deep seated panic that she had long since tried to bury away came rising up into her stomach, flooding her airways and causing the blood to rush into her ears.

"Next time?"

The man pulled away from her fully, coming to stand at the end of the bed and he reached for his trousers that had been unceremoniously dumped into a heap on the floor.

"Oh yes you are part of my business negotiations Miss, a little deal sweetener if you will. I'm sure Mr Balik will be most impressed that he was correct in his assumptions. You have proved to be quite satisfactory"

As Piper struggled to take in this new information the man redressed quickly covering his ageing bloated body with his crisp striped shirt. As the realisation dawned her body began to shake and she reached for the sheets that pooled around her wrapping her nakedness out of the man's sight feeling horribly exposed.

"Well until our next meeting my pretty little whore I'll replay our evenings activities in my mind, wanting and yearning for a repeat performance. I can promise you with these thoughts I won't be gone for long"

With a final predatory smirk he left the room slamming the door behind him and Piper let out a small breath of relief that his unwelcome presence had been removed. The smell however lingered and this time Piper did not fight the nausea that overwhelmed her. Rushing to the ensuite bathroom she gave in to her shaking body and let her legs give way, her knees meeting the porcelain tiles with an audible crack and she emptied the contents of her stomach into the depths of the toilet bowl. She heaved and gasped until there was nothing remaining in her stomach, the muscles cramping with the effort of reducing her stomach content to nil.

She usually never saw any of them twice it was the unspoken rule. She was given willingly to sweeten transactions or in gratitude for a job well done. It was a privilege, one that was only given once as he always said he had common whores to provide for daily needs. The fact that she had now been given away freely to one disgusting man made her tremble to the core. The nameless faces she could block out but the task of remaining un involved was about to become a whole lot harder and she wasn't certain she was up to the task. Letting her head fall into her hands she could feel the bile rising in her throat once more and she forced herself to take deep soothing breathes trying to still her shaking body and obtain a sense of calm. After a few minutes she could feel herself beginning to feel more normal and she left out a deep sigh as some of the tension in her limbs finally eased.

A sharp knock rang out into the room and she stood quickly swilling cold water around her mouth to remove the taste of sick from her mouth. With shaking hands she shook a mint from the small plastic container and quickly chewed on it disguising the foul lingering smell of vomit. If she showed weakness it would not go unpunished and she shuddered at the memories of the harsh slaps she had learned quickly to avoid. Taking a deep breath she steadied her nerves and made her way through her bedroom, grabbing her robe as she did before entering the small living area opening the door to her private suite.

"Good evening Piper"

Piper inclined her head in greeting and gave a tense smile before she took sight of the precious cargo held in her boss's arms and immediately her body relaxed and her heart ached with love and longing.

"I have just finished speaking with Mr Anderson you have done well"

Trying not to flinch as Kubra's words brought back the image of Mr Anderson roughly parting her thighs with his rough calloused hands, the memory of his touch ghosting over her skin making her squirm, she instead forced a smile on her face and nodded to the girl in Kubra's arms.

"I hope she wasn't any trouble for you this evening while I was otherwise occupied"

Kubra's stare softened considerably as he looked down, his face relaxing into a gentle smile and Piper found it unnerving that this man, who smiled at her daughter with such affection, was also a brutal and sadistic drug lord.

"She was an angel as usual, always so well behaved for Uncle Kubra ... just like her mother"

Piper held back the shudder that threatened to break over her body as Kubra walked silently over to the smaller bedroom placing her precious daughter into her bed. Piper watched intently as he pulled the covers up over her small body and placed a kiss to her forehead and she shuddered, her insides squirming at the gesture. She clenched her fists hard wanting to pull him away, put herself between Kubra and her precious daughter, he didn't deserve to touch her in such a familial manner.

Once Kubra had closed the door behind him making sure that he did not make a sound to disturb the rooms sleeping occupant he turned to look at Piper and she visibly cowered under his gaze as she noticed the steely glint in his eyes. Gone was the gentleness reserved only for her daughter, instead loathing seemed to burn bright in the almost black irises.

"Mr Anderson said you did not seem enthusiastic about his future visits. I assured him that it would just be shock at the change in circumstance and that once you had recovered you would be once again eager to please. I presume this is all it was Piper?"

His tone was soft and gentle but Piper could hear the undertone of anger and she knew she had to tread carefully with how she answered his question.

"He just surprised me that's all you always said that that I would never have to see the same man again and-"

"Times change Piper. This man, if he becomes a valued associate, will save me a lot of money and you must earn your keep"

"But-"

Before the words could even pass her lips he was upon her, his hand came up to her neck tightening around her throat and she choked her eyes bulging in fear as his warm breath caressed her face.

"Do not forget your place you insolent whore. After everything I have done for you this is how you repay me, by questioning my actions?"

Piper shook her head hurriedly beginning to panic as her body fought to pull in air, her lungs constricting tightly, her chest heaving.

"Just remember I saved you and that child of yours when you had nobody else. I have kept you safe, provided a roof over your heads but I can easily send you back to that hell hole you thought you had escaped if you defy me in anyway!"

Kubra pulled back abruptly sending her crashing to the floor as he did. Groaning Piper pulled her legs up to her body and she winced at the pain in her back already knowing that it would bruise.

"You will do as you are told otherwise I will send you back to the abusive ex and keep your daughter with me safe from her away incompetent parents. I am sure she would soon forget all about her useless mother living here in luxury with me"

Piper's blood ran cold and she shook her head back and forth as her body trembled.

"Especially when I tell her you left her behind because you didn't want her anymore. She listens to Uncle Kubra and soon you would be nothing more than a name on her birth certificate and a forgotten disappointment to your little angel"

"No... please ... I promise I'll do as you say, I promise Kubra"

"Good, I don't like making such threats Piper but if it is what is needed to keep you in line then I'm afraid it is a consequence that I may have to invoke"

"You won't I promise"

Kubra nodded seemingly satisfied and turned to the door straightening his waistcoat and tie as he did before he turned to look at her once more.

"Oh and Piper make sure you stay here in this room unless you are called for. One of my protégés is returning tomorrow and I do not want there to be any chance for you to become, how shall I put this, reacquainted"

At Kubra's words realisation dawned bright and clear and Piper's mouth dropped open her body beginning to shake as he smirked down at her cruelly.

"Yes Piper you guessed it Alex Vause is returning to the fold and you my dear are to stay away no matter how great the urge becomes to seek her out"

Kubra sneered at her from the doorway before his lips curled into a malicious smirk.

"Although lets be honest do you really want to see the disgust in her eyes when she sees what her once bright, intelligent, Smith graduate has reduced herself to"

Piper shook her head as the tears built in her eyes but this time she didn't try to stop them from falling not caring that her weakness was clearly on show to the man who caused her such pain in his supposed kindness.

"A common whore ... What would dear Alex think of that little fact?"

Piper clenched her eyes tight wishing she could block out his words just as easily, her heart already burning with shame and loathing.

"But then again you left her for a life that turned you to this, maybe karma has a funny way of showing itself"

And as Kubra left Piper finally let go sobbing hard wishing that she could run away, not wanting to stay here any longer, not with Mr Anderson or Kubra and his cruel ways. Her head and heart pounded as she thought of Alex and how she left her all those years ago desperate for the safe yuppie life. Now all she felt was defeat at how well that idealistic fantasy had turned out instead of happiness she had received mostly horror. Piper wished with all her heart she could return to the arms of the only person she had ever truly loved but she knew it was childish fantasy, she had made her bed and now she had to lie in it. Crying harder Piper wrapped her arms around herself and prayed, prayed that sometime soon she could find a way to keep herself and her daughter safe and tucked away from the men in the world intent on causing her harm with their anger, greed and the urge to control.

 **A.N Would love to hear your initial thoughts I know it's quite a dark theme and I'm curious to know what you think about this opener :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N Thank you so much for your reviews it has come as quite a surprise to see so much interest in this tale just from the first chapter. Here is chapter 2 I hope you enjoy ...**

"Mummy? Mummy are you ok?"

Piper groaned as the small voice filtered through her sleep addled mind and she forced her heavy eyes to open as she realised who that little voice belonged to. Blinking away the sleep and stale tears from her eyes Piper smiled warmly at her little blonde angel who was peering down at her with worry etched across her dainty features.

"Mummy are you aright? Why are you on the floor?"

Piper looked around disorientated she was lying on the carpet still in her dressing gown and Piper realised she must have cried herself to sleep after her conversation with Kubra the night before. Sitting upright she stifled a wince of pain as her sore bruised back protested at moving after spending such a long time in the same position on the hard floor.

"I'm fine darling I just fell asleep that's all"

"But why were you on the floor? You always say I have to go to bed when I'm sleepy, I'm not allowed to stay up in the living room"

Piper smiled at her daughter's pouting expression and she pulled her into her lap pressing a soft kiss to her head. Ignoring the difficult first question she answered the less complicated second statement not wanting to try and lie about her current predicament.

"That's because it's so much comfier to sleep in a bed my body's aching this morning after being so silly to fall asleep here"

"Is that what made you cry?"

Piper froze at the words spoken with such innocence and she nuzzled her nose into the blonde hair so like her own the calming fruity scent of children's shampoo easing her frazzled nerves.

"Yes but I'll be fine you do not need to worry my angel"

The amount of times Piper had said those words to placate felt like an unimaginable amount but she would not allow the burdens of her life to be taken on by such small shoulders anymore.

Ava Alexandra Bloom had been born into this world 8 years and 3 months ago in a rush of pain and panic. It had bee a long arduous labour, the umbilical had become wrapped around her daughters neck and the nurses where unsure whether she would survive. The first time she heard the howling cry of her newborn baby Piper fell instantly in love and she swore that she would never allow herself to disappoint the beautiful delicate creature that had lay in her arms.

Ava Alexandra Bloom her name had already been chosen months before, Ava had been picked by Larry after his grandmother and Alexandra had been Piper's choice. Larry had never understand Piper's reasoning for the middle name given to their daughter but he had not pried instead just smiling his once easy going smile and nodded along. Piper had not really understood why the name had popped into her head one day when thinking of what to call her unborn child. She had not thought about Alex in a long while the thought process was too painful and she tried to avoid it. But Alex kept appearing her mind no matter how much she tried to lock her memories away and once the idea had formed she could not shake it from her mind and so it had stuck. Piper hoped foolishly that with the middle name Alexandra Ava would grow up to be confidant and sure of herself two things Piper herself had wished she had been and admired so greatly in one Alex Vause.

The excitement they had both felt after settling on a name for their baby girl had been indescribable. That was when they had been happy, when Larry had been the perfect man to take home to her parents and the perfect father for her unborn child. He had been safe and predictable loving him had been easy enough at first he treated her like a princess. It was mundane, at times boring, but it was reliable and it fitted in with her mother's idea of the life she should be living. They had gotten engaged shortly after Ava had been conceived and Piper had eagerly accepted but had been quite happy with their long engagement. For some reason she hadn't felt the urge to actually become Mrs Larry Bloom and she would always make excuses for why they hadn't set a date, money, waiting until Ava was older, it was excuse after excuse. Still she had lived a content life until her daughter had just turned 5 and Larry had lost yet another writing job.

She couldn't pinpoint exactly when the drinking had started to become routine or when it had turned from just a couple of beers to a few tumblers of whiskey but she could remember the night he first laid his hands on her. Ava had been ill and so particularly whiney, not wanting Piper to leave her side and so had insisted that night that she got in their bed. After a restless night in which Larry had left their room muttering darkly for the couch Ava had finally settled at around half past 6 in the morning. As soon as she had appeared in the kitchen after just a couple of hours sleep Larry had been waiting staggering drunk and swearing in her face, blaming her for Ava's behaviour and calling her a unfit mother and an terrible fiancée. Piper had snapped and pushed him away from her and he had retaliated, hard, with his fists. That had been the beginning of the end from that point on Larry had beaten or forced himself on her, sometimes both, at least weekly and she had been too ashamed and frightened to leave, to expose what she saw as her sordid secret.

The turning point however had come 2 months ago when this time during a particularly nasty argument Larry had picked up his dinner plate and thrown it across the room. At the same time as the plate had left Larry's hand Ava had come barreling in through the kitchen door tears rolling down her face desperately trying to stop them arguing. The plate had missed her daughter's head by millimetres and it was the breaking point for Piper. She had been naive before convinced that once Larry found a job he would sober up and become the kind man he once was, who had swept her off her feet and cried when his daughter was born. But this hadn't happened and he had nearly caused harm to someone that wasn't herself and Piper was determined not to cower back anymore.

The minute he had fallen asleep in a drunken haze she had packed a bag, told Ava they were going on an adventure and not looked back. The first few weeks she received almost hourly phone calls they would start of remorseful Larry promising he would change, that he loved her and missed his girls. But by the end the words were once again abusive, threatening and he declared over and over that he would find them and when he did she would pay for taking his baby girl away from him.

"I don't like it when you cry mummy, that's what daddy used to make you do because he was mean"

Piper just wrapped her arms around Ava tighter cuddling her as close to her chest as she could feeling her little girl's concern warm her heart.

"But now we have Uncle Kubra you don't need to cry anymore"

It took everything in Piper's being not to shudder at the words spoken in such innocence. To Ava Kubra really was her kind hearted 'uncle' he told her stories while she sat curled up in his lap, let her sit on the big chair in his office and frequently brought her gifts of sweets in every variety. Everything her father should have done but didn't too wrapped up with his writing then drinking to care about his only child. Kubra had taken a shine to his blonde haired angel as soon as he had clapped eyes on her and he frequently made time for Ava which pleased her daughter immensely. At the beginning it had been a blessing to Piper, now she viewed it as a curse. Ava had no idea what her mother endured almost nightly to ensure that this relationship continued and Piper was determined to keep it that way.

"I know darling I'm just aching I promise everything's fine"

Ava stood up from her lap and wandered over to the kitchenette heading for the fridge. Piper stood and stretched following her daughter she flicked on the kettle in desperate need of a cup of hot coffee. She lifted out the lucky charms cereal and placed them on the counter in easy reach for Ava.

"There's no milk"

Piper let her head fall back and she groaned out loud turning the kettle off as she did, black coffee had never been her thing. Turning to see the crestfallen expression on Ava's face she suddenly had an idea and she smiled down at her daughter brightly.

"Shall we go and get pancakes for breakfast at Hyams cafe?"

Ava's eyes lit up a wide smile stretching across her cheeks as she nodded enthusiastically.

"Ok then you go and get changed while I just make a quick call and have a shower then we'll go"

Once Ava was preoccupied in her room Piper picked up the phone and dialled the familiar extension.

"Good morning Piper I trust you are well?"

Always so serious and formal it made Piper wince and her skin crawl.

"Yes thank you Kubra. Would it be alright if I took Ava out for breakfast? I wanted to make sure it didn't clash with any of your plans"

She hated that she had to ask for permission but it was part of the rules and today she definitely didn't want to cause problems. They both knew the word plans meant Alex's arrival and Piper could practically hear Kubra thinking down the phone.

"That will be fine as long as you are back by dinner time that way you won't be interfering with any of my own arrangements"

Swallowing down her temper that she could feel brewing Piper gave her thanks.

"I trust that everything is alright this morning Piper after our little discussion last night?"

"Yes I'm fine"

"Good because Mr Anderson will be joining me in the Casino as my guest tonight and he will be stopping by your suite afterwards"

Feeling the familiar feeling of desperation wrap around her body Piper forced the words past her now tight throat.

"Will you make arrangements for Ava?"

"Of course, good girl Piper I'm glad we are on the same page once again. Now go enjoy breakfast with your daughter and wish her a good morning from me"

Piper uttered a strained goodbye and put down the phone. By the time she had rushed through a lukewarm shower Piper had managed to push her dread at the coming night back to the recesses of her mind determined to enjoy her outing with Ava.

"Mummy are you ready yet?"

Piper rolled her eyes at her daughters impatience and finished applying her mascara. Pulling on her favourite fitted blazer she grabbed her bag and made her way out to the living room.

"Come on then poppet"

Like a blonde haired hurricane Ava barrelled across the room and flung herself at her legs, her head coming to rest at the base of her stomach, her arms wrapping around her tightly.

"I love you mummy"

Piper bent down and pressed a kiss to Ava's forehead before she cupped her little chin in her warm hands.

"I love you too darling now come on let's go and get some pancakes!"

* * *

Alex let out a huge sigh of relief as she took a deep breath of New York air. Standing on the pavement she grinned as she took in the sight of the city. It had been nearly four months since she had been here and to say she had missed her home town was an understatement. Flagging down a taxi she slid into the rear of the cab relaxing back into the leather seats gratefully letting her eyes fall shut, she was exhausted. Her flight had only taken three and a half hours from Cuba but she had been awake for almost 28 hours after having a small amount of trouble with a local cartel over Kubra's product. It had resulted in her making a hasty trip to the airport not really wanting to hang around on foreign soil for any longer than was strictly necessary. The only plan Alex had now was to go home and sleep for a few undisturbed hours before she went to meet Kubra at the hotel to discuss his plans going forward. She hoped that along with a rather large pay cheque he would be kind enough to give her some much needed time off while she recharged. Her body, she was certain, was pretty much running on fumes.

Opening her eyes she caught a glimpse of a tall slender woman with shoulder length blonde hair entering a cafe and for a moment her breath stilled and a pang of longing struck her to the very core. Shaking away such thoughts Alex scowled at her own stupidity and her minds unwillingness to let go of one Piper Chapman. Every time she saw someone who looked even remotely like Piper her heart skipped a beat and Alex cursed her own sentimentality. It had been almost 10 years since she last saw her ex girlfriend and Alex felt this was more than enough time for her heart to have healed from being broken. Her body didn't seem to agree with her and still to this day she had flashes of nostalgia where she craved the presence of the spritely blonde. Shaking her head Alex tried to blame this latest pang of want on tiredness and she was relieved when she saw her apartment complex approaching in the distance. All she wanted right now was a hot bath and her four poster bed anything else could wait until she was clean and had had a semblance of rest and relaxation.

When she awoke hours later she felt a hundred times better than she had when she had fallen face first into her pillows moaning in contentedness. Blinking blearily trying to rid the sleep from her eyes she squinted at her alarm clock and noted it was already half past seven. Her phone lit up on the bedside table and she narrowed her eyes as she read the message from Kubra telling her not to be late. Realising that she had only an hour until she had to be at the meeting she threw herself up from the bed and across to her bathroom grabbing her glasses as she went.

Half an hour later she was ready and on route to Kubra's hotel and casino. It was a front, a legitimate business in which he could hide his not so legal activities. The casino itself made fairly decent money and the hotel was occupied by Kubra's working girls and other members of the drug cartel. She had of course been provided with her own suite on the top floor alongside the boss but she hardly ever used it. Unless she needed somewhere to meet with her mules or to take back an evenings conquest she tried to return home as much as possible.

As Alex entered the casino she felt uncharacteristically nervous and she quickly signalled the nearest bartender to bring her a whiskey on the rocks. The first drink went down quickly and as she gestured for a second she noticed Kubra tucked away in the VIP corner. A sleazy looking older man was sat next to him and Alex guessed he was a new associate as she was fairly certain she had never met him before. Kubra caught her eye and he flashed her a quick smile in acknowledgement before he turned back to the man at his left. Half an hour passed and Alex glanced impatiently at her watch noting it was now twenty to nine gathering her glass she made her way over to the VIP entrance and smiled at the guard standing to the side. His name was Aydin and he had been with Kubra almost as long as she had. They had a difficult relationship blowing hot and cold and Alex knew it was because Aydin envied her position as Kubra's closest confidant.

"You're late Vause"

"Doorman duties again Aydin what have you done this time eh?"

He laughed a rather humourless laugh but begrudgingly stood to the side allowing her through scowling as she winked and smirked at him as she brushed past his arm. Approaching the booth Alex watched keenly as the older man excused himself a self satisfied smirk upon his features as Kubra gestured for one of the waiters to escort the man to the private stairway leading to the hotel.

"It has been a pleasure Mr Anderson"

"Oh believe me Mr Balik the pleasure is all mine"

The man she now knew as Mr Anderson winked and the two men exchanged knowing smirks. It was a look Alex had seen all too often and she knew that one of Kubra's girls would be receiving a visitor.

"Alex! Come sit down its been far too long"

"How are you Kubra, business doing well?"

She nodded in the direction Mr Anderson had left in and Kubra let out a bark of laughter and a wolfish grin.

"He thinks he has brokered an amazing deal what he doesn't realise is he could have asked for so much more. Just the promise of a few more nights with one of my girls had him eager to sign on the dotted line"

Alex grinned "You let him have a taste?"

"Oh yes now he's hooked practically twitching in his eagerness to get upstairs back between my blonde's thighs"

"Always blondes with you"

Kubra quirked his brow and smiled "I used to say the same about you"

"Yeah well things change" Alex's smile faltered and she looked out across the dance floor eagerly taking in the sight of an incredibly hot brunette in tight leather pants dancing by herself.

"She was never good enough for you"

Alex shook her head "Let's not rehash over the past I know how you felt about her"

"I nearly lost you to drugs because of her selfishness anything that happens in that bitch's life from now on is karma for how she treated you"

Alex felt strangely touched at Kubra's words even if she didn't whole heartedly agree with the sentiment. Touching her glass to Kubra's in a toast she eagerly knocked back her remaining whiskey trying not to think how even now she still couldn't wish harm to her blonde haired ex girlfriend.

"Come, let's go to my office we can relax there"

Alex reluctantly tore her gaze from the dance floor and followed Kubra to the lift clearly marked private. They made small talk as they walked until they were settled on the plush leather couch in the corner of Kubra's office.

"Well Alex I'm impressed you have managed to import a significant amount of product and money while placating the notoriously difficult locals. I'm truly astounded by how well you have done"

Alex smiled a cocky smirk the praise felt good, well deserved and she was pleased her efforts had not gone unnoticed.

"I'm thinking you deserve some time off, a break if you will. I don't want you to burn yourself out not when I have such high hopes for your future"

Alex let out a sigh of relief she had been worried that after such a good run she would be expected to jet off immediately to the next destination.

"I do not want you to feel as though I do not value your health and happiness Alex for I do, very much. After the last time you became 'burnt out' shall we say I do not want that to happen again"

Alex turned her head away in shame knowing exactly which period Kubra was referring to. After Piper had left her grieving for the loss of her mother and her girlfriend Alex had thrown herself into her work. It had all become too much, the work hadn't been enough to distract her from the feeling as though she was drowning in her own emotions leading her to dabble in the company's product. She had been a terrible addict and as soon as she had returned Kubra had paid for her to enter into the most expensive rehabilitation centre he could find to wean her off the product his business was made from.

"That won't happen again Kubra but I thank you for your concern"

"Anytime Alex now I apologise but I must cut this meeting short I have just remembered I have an important call to make"

"Anyone I know?"

Before Kubra could answer there was a timid knock on the door before it opened slowly. When nobody crossed the threshold Alex turned to look at Kubra and he stood slowly his eyebrows creased in wonder. A small blonde head popped around the door and Alex's eyebrows rose almost to her hairline as the small child shuffled into the room her head bowed.

"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting Uncle Kubra"

Uncle that one word caused her eyes to widen in shock and she looked at Kubra curiously. Her boss did not seem irritated at the intrusion in fact his face showed a gentleness she had not seen before.

"It's alright my angel but where is Devon I thought he was keeping an eye on you?"

Obviously relieved that she was not going to be in trouble the little girl raised her head and shot a cheeky smile "He fell asleep, he's so boring Uncle he doesn't understand how to play any of our games"

Kubra burst out laughing and he moved gathering the girl into his arms as he placed a kiss to her forehead.

"Well that just isn't good enough is it now, we'll have to do something about it"

Alex knew that Devon would be in for a severe punishment if Kubra cared even half as much for this little girl as she suspected. Lost in her thoughts Alex hadn't noticed that she had now become the object of the girls attention until she felt a curious gaze burning into her. She turned her head immediately noticing the bright blue eyes that captured her own. For a moment Alex was inundated with memories of another blonde with eyes the exact same shade of blue and her heart ached at the images that flashed through her minds eye.

"I'm Ava Alexandra Bloom, who are you?"

Alex looked from the little blonde to Kubra who was watching the scene curiously with a small smile playing on his lips.

"Alexandra Vause, but everyone calls me Alex"

Alex watched as Ava's eyes lit up with glee and her smile brightened considerably.

"We have the same name!"

Alex chuckled she didn't particularly like children not really understanding them or how to act around them but this one seemed pleasant enough.

"That we do"

"My mummy says that she named me Ava after my great grandmama and Alexandra because it would make be brave and confident. Does it?"

Alex looked confused and Ava rolled her eyes "Well did it make you brave?"

Kubra laughed "Alex is the most confidant person I know Ava and very brave you'll be just fine if you turn out like Alex here"

Ava looked at her closely for a moment before she turned back to Kubra "So is this your friend you were talking about? The one who's been away?"

Kubra nodded and Ava smiled "Kubra says your really cool"

Alex chuckled and Kubra held up his hands "That's because she asked me if you were like Aydin"

Alex snorted "No way Aydin's a boring bastard compared to me"

Ava's eyes widened at her swearing and she let out a small giggle.

"You swore that's naughty"

"I am naughty"

Alex pulled out her tongue and winked and Ava giggled again her eyes lighting with mirth.

"Can I stay here with you, just until mummy's finished working? I really don't want to stay with Devon and I'm not tired yet"

Kubra shook his head and the little blonde pouted her bottom lip protruding and Alex watched as the tears built rapidly.

"I have a telephone call to make I'm afraid my angel"

"I'll be real quiet I promise"

Alex turned her head feeling uncomfortable at the sight of the girls tears.

"I'm sorry angel you can stay another time. Now just give me a minute while I think of someone who can come for you"

A couple of tears slipped down the girls cheeks before she turned her gaze back to Alex and she felt her stomach twist anxiously as Ava smiled at her gently, _oh hell no_.

"Can I stay with you?"

Alex's mouth dropped open and she looked to Kubra for help feeling more panicked when he just shrugged his shoulders smirking.

"That's probably not a good idea I'm not really any good at playing either"

Her response did not seem to deter Ava and she jumped up onto the couch and peered at her intently "I'll teach you!"

Alex stood up trying to put some distance between herself and Ava feeling distinctly uncomfortable.

"Please can I come I'll be good I promise?"

"Alex..."

Kubra's tone was gentle in its warning and she sighed bringing up her hand to pinch the bridge of her nose knowing that she had no way of escaping the now inevitable.

"One hour then you come and collect her you know how I feel about kids"

Kubra nodded "Take her to your suite I'll come for her when I'm done I need to speak with the mother anyway"

"Who is the mother?"

Alex could not contain her curiosity not when the child could be Piper Chapman's double. Kubra however just looked at her with indifference and waved his hand as he spoke although he did lower his tone so that the girl could not hear his response filled with disdain.

"Just one of the whores"

Alex nodded in understanding and turned to face Ava who was looking at her pleadingly.

"Right Kid come on then I'll show you my pad"

"Pad?"

"She means her room Ava" Kubra swept the girl into a hug and pressed a kiss to her forehead "Make sure you are good for Alex don't make me have to tell your mother you misbehaved"

Placing Ava back down Kubra smirked once more at Alex his voice teasing "Now have fun you two!"

"You fucking owe me" Alex whispered the words through gritted teeth as she swept from the room Ava following behind like a lost puppy.

Once they arrived at her suite Alex unlocked the door and made her way to her couch falling into the soft cushions heavily. Light footsteps followed her and when she opened her eyes Ava was stood in front of her standing nervously, worrying her lip between her teeth.

"What are we going to do now Alex?"

Alex almost groaned aloud what were they going to do indeed.

 **A.N Would love to hear your thoughts :) ...**


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N Thank you for leaving your thoughts in your reviews knowing that people are interested gives me the drive to find time to continue as soon as possible. I knew you would be surprised to see Alex and Ava meet so soon but I'm enjoying writing their interactions its something a bit different that I was keen to explore. I've never been able to picture Alex with a baby but a curious intelligent eight year old I can imagine she could cope with!**

 **Now after my rambling on with the story...**

* * *

"I told you I wanted you to look at me as I fucked you!"

The resounding slap echoed around the room and Piper cringed as she felt her lip split against the force of the blow. Her eyes automatically began to water and she blinked rapidly willing the tears away. Touching her split lip with the tip of tongue she whimpered as it stung on contact and the metallic taste of blood tainted her tongue.

"Fucking look at me!"

Snapping her eyes open she stared at him her eyes wide unflinching she did not want him to hit her again, certainly not across the face. Ava would already ask questions and Piper did not want her daughter to have to live in fear again, helping her poor battered and bruised mother cover up the signs of domestic abuse. As he thrust into her body over and over Piper squirmed at the burn between her thighs it was uncomfortable but she did not dare complain for fear of angering the vile man above her anymore.

"That's it, such a pretty blonde thing, not like all those other vacant blonde girls. No you are a woman and a beautiful one at that"

Each word was punctuated with a thrust from his sweating body and Piper fixed her gaze on the mans receding hairline trying desperately to ignore the horrifying ordeal she was being subjected to. She concentrating hard at counting the droplets of sweat beading across his brow anything to remove herself from the situation emotionally. Piper knew if she cried it would only make it worse. She had learnt that lesson early on with Larry.

So engrossed in counting she didn't feel his thrusts become shallower or hear his deep grunt only realising it was all over when he shuddered above her, his body falling, his head coming to rest on her chest. He did not stay for long after a couple of deep breaths he pulled back and ran a clumsy hand roughly down her cheek.

"You are gorgeous my pet"

Piper didn't feel gorgeous she felt disgusting, with his seed dripping between her thighs, and used but she tried to smile at the compliment although she was fairly certain it came out as more of a grimace.

"Even with that cut to your lip"

"Well who's fault was that?!"

The words were out before she could stop them and her blood ran cold as Mr Anderson's hand stilled his gaze hardening. Automatically she shrunk back pulling her knees up in front of herself trying to prepare for the retaliation she was so sure she was going to receive.

"If you had done as I asked then I wouldn't have lost my temper"

Piper was seriously beginning to wonder if all men treated women as if they were dogs. There purely as a faithful companion willing and obedient but punished the minute they defied their masters orders. So wrapped up in her analogy Piper had not even realised that Mr Anderson had now got dressed and was standing at the side of the bed. When he spoke she was startled and she turned to look in his direction.

"Now I must be going I will see you again soon"

The tone used brokered no argument and she just nodded her head already resigned to the inevitable knowing it would be futile to answer in any other way.

"Good night"

She did not reply, the minute he had left the room she ran to the bathroom and vomited hard her knuckles turning white as she clutched the rim of the porcelain bowl. She knew she would need to try and stop her body's reaction to the job she was struggling to endure. She was becoming thinner with every passing week her clothes beginning to hang loosely off her frame another stark reminder of her situation each time she looked in the mirror. Once she could heave no more she ran herself a hot bath and only began to feel human again once she had scrubbed her skin red raw in the scalding water tears running down her cheeks, as she did, dripping into the water below. For the first time in a long time Piper prayed, prayed that she could escape this nightmarish existence and provide herself and Ava the freedom and happiness she so desperately craved. Half of her wished she could turn back the clock, back to the hotel room in Paris ten years ago back into the arms of the woman she so desperately loved and who loved her in return. The tears fell harder with these thoughts guilt mixing with longing as she knew if she had never left Alex then Ava would never have been brought into this world. She was the only part of her life she did not regret but she wished she could be a better mother something she had always promised herself she would be but at the moment she seemed to be failing at constantly. Her self loathing intensified and she clawed at the skin on her arms hating herself more in that moment than she had since that fateful day 10 years ago.

Once she had finished weeping into the now cold bath water Piper quickly washed her hair and body before wrapping herself in one of the large fluffy bath towels that lined the shelves in the modest bathroom. The hotel was luxurious which had been a surprise to Piper when she had first arrived, she had been expecting something more seedy. When Kubra had obviously seen her shocked expression he had explained that although it was a cover he still wanted his hotel to be one of the best in the area. It was a clever ruse and Piper suspected that as a five star hotel and casino nobody would question the large amount of drug money that washed through the company's account.

When Kubra had first brought them to their suite Piper had been quietly impressed with its two bedrooms, living room with kitchenette and a small bathroom plus her own ensuite it was like their very own small apartment. It was also beautifully furnished and Piper knew she could easily make it feel like their very own little home. She had been incredibly grateful consisting she hadn't expected anything other than a room. If she had known then, how much it would take from her, how high the price would feel that she had to pay to keep this suite she would have gathered Ava in her arms and not looked back.

Lost in her thoughts Piper cursed as she knocked her clean clothes off the nightstand and as she crouched down to the floor she caught sight of her memory box that she had tucked out of sight under the bed. It was the one thing she had been determined not to leave behind and she had quickly stuffed it into her hold-all the night she had left Larry. Reaching out Piper wrapped her hand around the old wooden box it had belonged to her grandmother and Piper had always admired the delicate patterns that had been carved into the soft wood. She had been touched when Celeste had given it to her as a leaving gift when she left home for university. Sitting on the bed Piper ran her fingers softly down the lid before she flicked the hatch open.

At the top of the pile were pictures of Ava from her being a tiny newborn up until the last happy Christmas they had as a family with Larry. Piper looked through each of the photos smiling adoringly at her blonde haired angel. Piper knew she should stop there but she couldn't help the impulsive urge to continue and she as her fingers brushed the next set of pictures, carefully wrapped in ribbon, hidden at the bottom of the box her heart clenched painfully. Slowly she pulled the worn photos into her hand and as she let her eyes rest on the two happy carefree faces in the photo her heart clenched and Piper let tears build in her eyes. Slowly she let one finger slide down Alex's face her heart aching with longing as she could almost feel those long slender arms as they wrapped around her shoulders. The ghost of the memory was so strong Piper closed her eyes and sighed heavily lost in nostalgia before she was snapped from reality by her phone bleeping at the side of her bed. Shaking her head at the sudden wave of want and longing Piper shoved the photos away quickly and forced the memories of Alex back into the deepest part of her mind knowing it was futile to remain longing for the past.

Pulling on her pyjamas Piper shoved the box back under the bed and went to make herself a decaf coffee knowing that caffeine would not help her not when she was already finding sleep hard to come by. Settling herself into the couch waiting for the kettle to boil she hoped that Ava would be back soon fearing what thoughts her mind would plague her with if she was left on her own for too long.

* * *

"Where did you get this?"

Alex turned her head slightly in acknowledgment although she kept her eyes on the book in front of her. She had just reached a particularly interesting part of her novel and she was eager to see how the story progressed.

"Get what?"

The little painted stone lizard was shoved onto her book, directly in her line of sight, startling her from her story. Trying not to snap at the girl knowing she had not meant to anger her Alex marked her place and moved the book onto the arm of the couch. Holding the lizard in her hand she placed it back into Ava's palm running a finger down its decorated back as she did.

"A kid was selling them when I went on my last trip to Bali"

"He's beautiful"

Alex almost laughed at the sentiment but she didn't, not knowing if she would cause offence, instead she picked up the lizard and looked at it closely.

"How do you know it's a boy?"

Ava rolled her eyes "Because he looks like a boy"

Alex just chuckled "It is very life like"

"Have you seen a real one?!"

"Yes"

"At a zoo?"

Alex shook her head "No I've held one. In Bali they were everywhere scurrying about as common as cockroaches. One day there was one just like this lying on a rock outside of the Villa I was staying in. It just sat there sunbathing for ages and I held it briefly before it scampered away, they feel very similar to snakes"

"Wow Alex that is so cool!"

Alex smiled widely feeling oddly pleased at being described as cool from the over excitable girl in front of her.

"So how old are you?"

"Eight years and three months"

"Really you are awfully grown up for an eight year old"

Ava smiled proudly and Alex was amazed at how easy it was to talk to the kid that had been sprung upon her not two hours ago. Ava, so far, had been no trouble she had explored her suite asking questions as she did while Alex had picked up a book and settled on her couch. After her initial panic it had been relatively easy to keep one eye on her book and one on the blonde. She still felt unsure and nervous at having the girl in her personal space and she was certain it showed in her posture. Trying to force herself to relax she stretched out her legs once before crossing them again turning to look at Ava with interest as she spoke.

"Mummy always says that too ... sometimes she gets this sad look on her face as she says it but I like being grown up I don't want to be treated like a baby"

Alex felt her curiosity peak she knew it was wrong to pry she didn't know this girl but she found herself wanting to know her story.

"So how long have you being staying here?"

"I don't know, not long me and mummy had to leave our nice house and come here. It's not too bad, Uncle Kubra's really nice to me, but I miss my old bedroom I had more books there"

Ava's expression turned sullen and Alex wanted to ask more but wasn't certain it was appropriate instead she latched onto the other information said as an afterthought wanting to keep the conversation going.

"You like to read?"

"I love too! My teacher said I was top of my class at reading. I used to have all the Roald Dahl books at home Mummy would read them to me at night before bed ... well if Daddy wasn't bothering her"

"Me too" Ava looked at her curiously "I used to read those when I was a kid at the library near where I lived I used to go there everyday from being about your age. I used to sneak in and sit there reading all day I could spend hours there and not even realise it"

Ava clambered up onto the couch settling heavily into the soft cushions her eyes looked at her eagerly and Alex still couldn't believe how eerily alike Piper's they were. It caused a shiver to run across her skin although she wasn't certain why.

"I love reading I like how in the stories the places always sound so real even when you know they aren't. Like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory how cool would it be to have your own Oompa Loompa?"

Alex chuckled "Pretty cool I suppose"

"The other kids at school would be well jealous!"

"Do you go to school here?"

Ava shook her head looking suddenly anxious "No it's the holidays but mummy says I'll have to stay here until she can find me a new school she says its complicated and I know it's because of daddy even if she pretends it isn't"

Alex didn't really know how to respond and she was grateful when Ava piped up with another question.

"I haven't seen you here before do you work for Uncle Kubra?"

"I do"

"Do you have to entertain clients as well?"

Alex almost sprayed the mouthful of coffee she had just taken across the floor wanting to answer with 'Are you fucking kidding me' instead she swallowed harshly "No, no I don't"

She obviously hadn't been successful at keeping the disdain from her voice as Ava shrank back away from her, her teeth beginning to worry at her lip as her hands fidgeted with the hem of her t-shirt.

"I'm sorry that's what Uncle Kubra said my mummy does for him and I just thought you must do to"

Trying to remember this was a kid she was talking too, a kid who didn't understand the business that went on around here, Alex let out a long breath.

"Don't be sorry it's just I've worked hard to get to the position I am now and I'm very proud of if. I attend meetings and arrange business deals it means I have to travel a lot"

"Mummy works hard too"

Alex shifted uneasily she didn't doubt what Ava said but lying on your back with your legs spread was hardly what she would class as work.

"I'm sure she does"

Ava just nodded still obviously feeling unsure of herself and Alex felt an overwhelming urge to make the kid smile again. She had obviously had a hard life and Alex could still remember how difficult her own life had been when she was that age.

"Would you like a drink?"

Ava shook her head slightly her gaze firmly on the hands in her lap.

"Are you sure I make a mean hot chocolate reckon if I buzz Devon he can get me some whipped cream and sprinkles from the Casino kitchen?"

The smile came back in full force and Alex grinned in return as Ava's eyes lit up "Can I put the sprinkles on?!"

* * *

"Did you enjoy yourself?"

"I did Uncle Kubra thank you she's much better than Devon"

"That's because Devon's simple"

Piper could hear her daughter's laughs before she could see her and she entered the living room cautiously waiting for the inevitable reaction that would come. She had tried to cover the bruise with make up but she had been unsuccessful and she knew her ever observant daughter would see it instantly.

"Mummy!"

The full force of Ava's weight barrelled into her legs and for a moment she was nearly caught off balance. Ignoring Kubra's curious gaze Piper ran her hand across her daughter's head briefly tangling her fingers in the silky locks.

"Did you have a good time? You are back later than I thought you would be its way past your bedtime"

"Yes it was great I met Kubra's friend A..."

Ava's excited response trailed off as Piper watched her daughter's eyes study her face confusion flickered across her features before it turned to fear.

"Is daddy here?"

"No my darling he isn't-"

"Well what happened to your face?"

Piper picked up Ava and placed her on her hip she was too big really to be held this way but Piper wanted to hold her as physically close to her as she could.

"I fell on the stairs that's all, you know how clumsy mummy is, that's all. Daddy isn't here and he isn't going to find us"

Ava still looked unconvinced and Piper found herself turning to Kubra a pleading look in her eye.

"Angel nothing can hurt you or your mother here you have nothing to be afraid of"

Ava looked between them both for a moment before her body relaxed slightly and she leant her head into the crook of Piper's neck.

"You need to be more careful mummy"

"Yes she does"

Piper winced at Kubra's tone she knew tomorrow he would expect a full explanation and Piper hoped there would be no further punishment she didn't think she could take anymore.

"Well my angel come and give your favourite uncle a hug before I go"

"You're my only uncle"

Ava's words made Piper ache Ava had been too young to remember the last time she had seen her brother Cal because of his hillbilly life in the woods Piper did not get to see him as much as she would have liked. He would have last seen Ava when she was nearly three, after her 5th birthday Larry had forced Piper to cut off all contact from her family and so Ava had forgotten all about her real loving uncle.

"Piper my office 11 o clock tomorrow do not be late we need to discuss Mr Anderson"

She nodded tersely and as soon as the door closed she let out a loud sigh of relief.

"Shall we go to bed darling?"

Ava went quiet and Piper thought she was going to argue until she replied her voice small and timid.

"Can I get in with you?"

Having already changed the bedding Piper immediately nodded needing the comfort that came from her only child. Ava smiled softly and Piper pressed a kiss to her cheek this is what kept her going this little person in her arms was all she needed and she would be damned if anything or anyone tried to take Ava away from her.


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N I'm really pleased that so far everyone seems to be enjoying this story. I'm having such a good time writing this AU I think it's because it is something a bit different and it's a really nice feeling to know other people are enjoying reading my idea too so thank you for your comments!**

* * *

"Well you certainly made an impression the other night?"

Alex raised one eyebrow in question as she poured fresh coffee into a large mug and handed it over to Kubra who was smiling at her smugly.

"I've seen Ava twice since last week and each time it's been Alex this and Alex that, it's rather annoying actually"

Alex let out a throaty chuckle "Are you jealous Kubra?"

Kubra snorted and sipped at his drink they were standing in her open plan kitchen leaning against the work tops at her apartment. Alex had been shocked when Kubra had sent her a message that evening informing her of his plan to drop by. His visit was purely social and Alex felt a slight awkwardness in her tight shoulders she was not used to him visiting her at home.

"What's the deal with you and the kid anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well you've hardly struck me as the fatherly type in all the time we've worked together and yet you seem to be quite fond of her"

Kubra rolled his eyes at the gentle teasing before answering "Her mother came to me for help and Ava was part of the package. At first I was hesitant, intent on Ava being, how do you put in, not seen and definitely not heard. I must admit even I've been surprised at how much I have come to enjoy the child's company. She's had a difficult upbringing and I suppose I have been drawn to helping her"

It seemed to be a common theme amongst Kubra's cartel the reasons or situations may have differed but each of the more prominent members had suffered with some sort of hardship growing up. Alex's was purely monetary having grown up dirt poor with a mother who tried so hard but it never seemed to be enough. Aydin had been orphaned early on growing up practically alone on the streets of New York. Kubra had grown up between foster homes, his mother a common prostitute, his father a drug dealer. Kubra had told her this in confidence one night after she had asked him about his family just in drunken conversation. He had become embarrassed, an emotion she had never seen on the features of her strict stoic boss, and Alex on learning his tale had never brought it up again.

"It isn't her fault that her self centred privileged parents have managed to ruin their own lives and she's a good girl"

Alex went quiet studying Kubra over the rim of her coffee cup carefully his face had creased with pure disdain and Alex knew that something must have struck a chord deep within her boss for him to show such a level of emotion regarding something other than business.

"How did you end up taking in the mother?"

Kubra's features seemed to change quickly, schooled into a mask of careful nonchalance and Alex looked at him with her eyes narrowed. He seemed to be making a conscious effort to look detached.

"She was running from an abusive fiancé I agreed to provide a place for her and Ava to stay if she agreed to whore herself for me on occasion. She eagerly accepted so win win in my view"

Shrugging his shoulders Kubra continued "She is a natural blonde, athletic, attractive. She looks typically middle class not like my usual girls which makes her all the more appealing. I knew I could make use of her and she was desperate, would have done anything to keep herself and the child safe. Let's say I saw an opportunity and took it. It has been a successful gamble, a couple of my new associates have taken a real shine to her and she has been working most nights ever since"

Alex just nodded feeling slightly troubled by the story it made her uncomfortable sometimes the line of business she was in and who she associated with. It was a common view from the men in the business that women were only useful when on their backs and it both infuriated her and saddened her that this was the attitude they had.

"Don't look like that I have given her and the child a home it was more than she deserved"

Alex bristled slightly and she struggled to keep her tone neutral.

"You said she had an abusive partner how is that her fault really?"

"She picked him"

Alex opened her mouth to continue her argument but Kubra waved his arm at her his face pinched with irritation.

"I'm not discussing this any further I have acted in a way that benefits myself and her. I am not a charity I have a business to run, a business that needs to make money. I cannot just take in every waif and stray and not have anything offered in return"

His steely glare caused her to shift uncomfortably and she raised her hands conceding defeat smiling hesitantly.

"Hey I'm not judging you're the boss you can run your business as you see fit ... As long as I'm your favourite employee, best paid, best treated and all that I'm not going to interfere"

They both laughed but Alex still felt slightly sceptical about Kubra's story she was convinced there was something more to it and she wondered whether the woman was a person from his past. His demeanour seemed to exude bitterness and disdain when he talked about Ava's mother and Alex pondered over the possibility that she was an ex girlfriend of his. Feeling the silence becoming slightly oppressive Alex decided to move the conversation along starting with why Kubra was actually here, in her apartment.

"So is this just a social call?"

"Actually I wanted to ask a favour"

Alex nodded her head and refilled the two now empty cups adding two sugars to Kubra's but nothing to her own. Black coffee was her only drug in life, the only one she was willing to be addicted to.

"I am out to a meeting tomorrow night and I need to take the girl's mother with me. Would you look after Ava just for the night? We will be coming back but I can imagine it will be the early hours of the morning"

Alex snorted chuckling slightly convinced Kubra was pulling her leg, when she noticed that Kubra was looking at her intently she stared in disbelief.

"Me?! Oh come on is there not someone else who can take her?"

"Aydin and Devon are the only two who know about the reality of the situation. Aydin I have sent on a trip of his own and Devon isn't exactly the best babysitter around"

"And you think I am?"

Kubra looked at her his voice although calm was firm and Alex knew there was no changing his mind.

"You will be fine and Ava really likes you"

"We spent two hours together that's it"

"And yet she's done nothing but talk about you for the best part of a week. Ava will behave, she will be thrilled that she will get to see you again. It will ease my concerns and her mother's if she is willing to be left without her for a night. I know I promised you time off but this is hardly a taxing night's work"

Alex scowled heavily knowing that this was an order and not a request no matter how politely Kubra phrased it.

"I need the mother to be compliant Alex. I wouldn't have even considered asking you, believe me, but this is a very important deal. If the mother is distracted over Ava she won't be able to do her job properly"

"Which is to what exactly? Lie there and let whichever men do as they please"

Her tone was biting and she knew it but she had never agreed with Kubra and the way he treated his whores. It annoyed her that women could be used as a gift, an incentive, when it came to business transactions as if they were just another commodity and it disgusted her.

"Do not get on your high horse Alex my girls know what they are getting into, they are on the payroll just like everyone else. The only difference is while I pay you for your intelligence I pay them for their willing bodies"

"Do not compare me to a whore Kubra. I will look after the girl but just for one night and please do not make a habit of asking"

Kubra smiled coldly "I am your boss, I pay your wages, do not forget that. Favourite or not Alex I still expect you to do as you are told. If I want you to babysit the child you will"

Inclining her head in defeat Alex held her tongue knowing it would not do well to argue with the man sat across from her. As he so kindly put it he did pay her wages after all.

"Would you prefer to have Ava here or at the Casino?"

Now that was a question bringing Ava here was mixing work and home a little too closely for her liking but then again having Kubra here now was already infringing upon her dislike for bringing business to her personal life. It was a rule that she had tried to follow ever since Piper had left her in Paris knowing that the fundamental reason for Piper's departure from her life was because she couldn't separate their relationship from her work life. At the time she always justified the two mixing because she was treating Piper to the high life travelling to exotic locations staying in luxury accommodation. Piper, although thrilled with the travelling initially, always said that the sights and cities were great to explore but only when she had her girlfriend at her side. Alex never really got why Piper complained so much they still got time together just her business meetings had to fit in between. Now that she was older and wiser she wished she could turn back the clock and remedy the one fear that Piper seemed to always have at the forefront of her mind which she knew had been a major factor of their break up. The notion that Piper was only ever another mule to Alex, someone to keep her bed warm and do as they were told.

Shaking herself mentally Alex thought about Kubra's question on where to have Ava for the night. At the Casino it would be strictly business and the girl was used to living in the hotel which would probably make her feel more at ease. Alex did not want to do anything that could potentially rock the boat already dreading the task that had been thrust upon her. She knew it would be awkward enough without dealing with any temper tantrums from an upset eight year old.

"I'll come to the Casino"

"Well if you could be at your suite for 7 o clock I will bring Ava to you at about quarter past. Please do not be late this meeting is very important and I will already be pressed for time"

"Would it not be better for you if I came to her suite, we could stay there instead of you bringing her to my place?"

Alex thought the girl would be more comfortable in her own rooms and she presumed she would have toys or games to keep her amused.

Kubra shook his head forcefully "No I will bring her to you"

"And what about the mother will she not want to see just who will be looking after her child for the evening? Surely she would like to at least clap eyes on the person being entrusted with her daughter?"

Kubra's lip curled obviously in distaste "She will do as instructed I trust you and that should be good enough for her. If it isn't she will have me to answer to"

Alex's stomach squirmed with unease but she did not voice her thoughts not wanting to argue. Kubra finished his coffee in silence before he smiled his thanks and made his way straight for the door. Now that his reason for visiting was complete he obviously did not see the need to linger.

"Seven o clock Alex I look forward to seeing you tomorrow"

Once he had left Alex made her way to her living area and sat down heavily letting her head fall back on to the couch she let out a loud groan. Babysitting was not in her job description and she was already dreading the thought of spending an entire night with a kid she barely knew. Knowing that thinking about the task would drive her to distraction Alex glanced at her phone noting it was only 8 o clock. Decision made Alex stood up quickly and made her way to her bathroom her plan was to go out, get wasted and find a willing woman. That, she thought wickedly, would definitely rid her of the unpleasant thoughts regarding her new assignment.

* * *

"Why do I have to stay here can't I come with you?"

Piper's hand stilled in her task of applying her mascara they had already had this conversation at least four times today and Piper wasn't certain she could take the questioning for much longer, her patience beginning to wear thin. She was already a bag of nerves dreading the clock striking seven knowing exactly what it was she would be partaking in this evening. Kubra had informed her of what she was expected to do for the evening calmly as though she was doing something as mundane as popping to the shop for some milk. His causal air did not ease her worries and she wished with every fibre of her being that by some sort of miracle she could remain here with her baby girl. In the last 6 days she had been relieved of her duties and Piper had almost began to feel happy again after spending time with Ava which had been wonderful. Now she felt truly awful, fear was overwhelming each of her senses threatening to twist her body into knots.

"It's work darling you cannot come with me you know this and Kubra has promised me that we will back first thing in the morning"

Finishing the final touches to her make up Piper stood from her dressing table and moved to the bed were her daughter sat worrying her lip between her teeth. She pressed a gentle kiss to the forehead of the small pouting blonde and pulled her into her side cuddling her close. Piper sighed softly when she felt Ava's small arms automatically wrap around her middle tightly her little fingers clinging to her dress.

"I'll be back before you know it and then we can go out for the day do something nice just me and you how about that?"

Hesitant wide blue eyes locked with her own and Piper made sure to smile encouragingly. She watched as Ava's face scrunched up in concentration before it broke with a hesitant smile.

"Could we go to the zoo?"

Relieved that she had successfully managed to placate her ever inquisitive daughter Piper at that point would have agreed to anything. The zoo seemed like an easy request to grant especially since she had promised Ava an adventure when they had ran from Larry in the dead of night. So far they had stayed mostly the hotel.

"Yes if that's what you want"

Ava looked up at her and beamed her gorgeous smile lighting up her features which had been sulky and drawn all day.

"Thank you mummy! Can we go and see the lizards I want to see if I can spot one like the little stone one that Alex has"

And there was her other source of discomfort casually dropped into conversation by her daughter who was unaware how much pain it brought her mother to hear that name spoken aloud with such eagerness. For the past week Ava had not stopped talking about her new friend who had the same name and had read 'All the books in the world ever!'. Each time Alex was mentioned it made Piper smile painfully, it seemed all Chapman women were fascinated with one Alex Vause. Knowing Alex was so close and yet had never felt further away was haunting Piper in a way she hadn't thought possible. Her heart ached for her ex lover and as much as it pained her to hear Ava talk about Alex she found she unexpectedly craved it wanting to hear every snippet of detail, no matter how trivial. She knew it was futile there was no need for her to know what Alex's suite looked like or whether she still drank her coffee black with no sugar. It was information she did not need for Alex would never want her back in her life in any format. Piper had broken her heart in the worst possible way leaving the woman she repeatedly said 'I love you' to on the day her mother died. It was an impulsive action she had regretted the moment she had returned home and had never forgiven herself for since.

"Do you think we'll see one?"

"Sorry darling what was that?"

Ava rolled her eyes "A lizard mummy like the one Alex got in Bali. Will we see one?"

Piper smiled hesitantly "Maybe"

Noticing that 7 o clock was rapidly approaching Piper swallowed hard and gently untangled herself from Ava's hold. Standing up she sprayed her perfume on her neck choosing Chanel no 5 over her preferred Armani Code not wanting her favourite perfume to become associated with the heinous job she had to perform.

"Do you really have to go tonight mummy?"

"I do darling I wish I didn't but Kubra needs me to go and I cannot disappoint him can I? Not when he is kind enough to let us live here"

"Your mother is right Ava you should listen to her wise words"

Piper flinched as Kubra's voice rang out, she hadn't heard the door opening, and she struggled to keep her face impassive as she turned to see him leaning against the doorframe, his eyes roaming up and down her figure his gaze appraising.

"You look ... pleasing Piper"

Inclining her head in thanks Piper struggled to tamper down the nerves that were threatening to claw their way out of her stomach.

"Mummy is beautiful"

Piper's heart melted and she moved so that she could wrap her arms around her baby and she laughed when Ava squirmed as she squeezed her hard.

"And you my angel are even more so"

Ava smiled at Kubra's praise before it dropped from her face as she realised that it was time for her to go.

"Can I stay here tonight? Please uncle Kubra I don't want to go and stay with Devon it's so boring"

Piper opened her mouth to chastise Ava for her cheekiness not wanting her daughter to cause upset but Kubra merely smiled at her childish grumbling and gestured for her to come closer. Once Ava was standing in front of him he knelt down to her level and placed his hands on her shoulders gently.

"You are not nearly old enough to stay on your own but I have a a better plan for you tonight"

Ava did not look convinced the slight scowl across her brow not lessening at Kubra's words and she fidgeted from side to side.

"Devon will not be looking after you"

Ava's expression turned curious her body stilling and Piper found herself staring and irritation with unease she trusted Devon although quiet and serious, two traits which did not sit well with Ava, Piper found him to be an attentive sitter.

"Who will? I will not have Ava left with just anybody Kubra"

Kubra's eyes flashed with anger and Piper took a step back her posture visibly wilting. She cursed her actions as she noticed Ava was now looking between them hesitantly her teeth reaching for her lip.

"I'm sure you will approve Piper Alex has agreed to look after young Ava for the evening while you earn your keep whoring yourself to Mr Anderson's men"

Piper flushed with embarrassment and she turned to Ava with her stomach leaden with dread waiting for her daughter's inevitable question. Luckily Ava seemed not to have taken any notice of Kubra's words after learning who she was spending her evening with. Her face was alight with pure happiness as she bounced around on Piper's bed with glee.

"Awesome! Did you hear that mummy I get to see Alex!"

Piper smiled softly feeling her stomach flip at the smug smile adorning Kubra's features, he knew exactly how much this was hurting her and he revelled in it. It was torturous how her daughter would be spending an evening with the love of her life while she would be passed between salacious men like a play thing. It made her almost sick with longing her heart aching and it disgusted her how cruel Kubra could be, his smirking face a clear indication of his amusement.

"Well Piper it's time meet me in the lobby in precisely five minutes. I'm just going to escort this little lady upstairs then I'll be with you. Ava are you ready?"

"Nearly"

Ava flung herself into her arms with a hurried 'I love you' before she tore into the living looking for her bag and hoody to take with her.

"Speak out of turn again and I will punish you Piper. I will tell your daughter exactly what type of woman her useless mother is, why it is your fault you're living the way you are"

Piper nodded meekly feeling the tears beginning to build and she tried to blink them away rapidly not wanting them to fall and spoil her makeup that she had taken so long to perfect.

"Five minutes then we'll see how much of a whore you are won't we? Do not disappoint me Piper it'll only make your miserable existence even worse"

Piper nodded and as she plastered a fake smile on her face to wave her daughter goodnight she could feel her stomach twisting as the bile threatening to choke her built in her throat. The trembling in her extremities only increased as Kubra turned to smirk at her from the doorway, his smile cruel and taunting, his eyes hard with disdain. Tonight was going to be difficult and Piper was trying her damnedest not to crumble, she wouldn't give Kubra the sick satisfaction she knew he desperately craved. Reaching for her black trench coat she pulled the familiar material around her firmly doing up each button precisely feeling as though she was pulling on her armour. Once it was firmly fastened she straightened her back and drew on her inner strength pulling on her relaxed façade. Tonight she would not give Kubra any reason to punish her, no tonight she was going to do her job and succeed even if she felt as though she was selling her soul to the devil just to survive.


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N 17 reviews for the last chapter, I can honestly say I have been overwhelmed by your response. I've had a particularly difficult week and reading your reviews has really pushed me to scribble down my ideas every time I've had even just five minutes to spare.**

 **I'm not particularly happy with this chapter as I've felt rushed while writing it and I know I should have probably taken more time to thoroughly check before posting but I really wanted to get the next installment out to you guys so I hope it meets your usual expectations.**

 **This story is going to be a slow burner and I know you are all desperate for Alex to swoop in and rescue Piper but it won't be for a little while yet all I can say is stick with me it'll happen ... eventually :)**

* * *

"So ... er what's the plan here, have you eaten?"

Ava looked at her with one eyebrow raised and Alex almost blushed under the little blondes scrutiny and at how unsure she sounded. It was not like her to feel so out of comfort zone, even less like her to let her nervousness show.

"Yes mummy made spaghetti bolognaise it's my favourite!"

Alex let out a sigh of relief at least that was one hurdle she didn't have to contend with and her nerves settled slightly.

"Ok well now that's sorted what time are you allowed to stay up 'til and don't try and lie to me Kid I'll be checking with uncle Kubra tomorrow and he won't be happy if you have lied"

Alex smirked as Ava pouted and grumbled under her breath obviously displeased that she would not be able to stay up later than allowed.

"10 o clock while it's Saturday"

Alex nodded her head two and a half hours that seemed just about manageable. Ava had settled herself on the living room carpet her bag opened at her side, an assortment of paper and colouring pens spread across the floor in front of her. Alex was sat on her couch upright and rigid, feeling tense. She was trying to relax but it wasn't coming easily and she was glad that the girl had settled quietly on arrival not at all perturbed at spending an evening in her company.

"Alex guess what?"

Alex smirked at Ava's grinning face "I'm the coolest person to babysit you ... ever!"

Ava laughed loudly nodding her head eagerly causing Alex to smirk and relax before Ava shook her head still giggling "That's not what I was going to say!"

"Ok, then what?"

"I'm going to the zoo tomorrow!"

"Are you now, I haven't been to the zoo in years"

Alex had last been to the zoo almost 11 years ago with Piper. The blonde had insisted on buying the biggest stuffed animal in the gift shop and Alex had eagerly handed over a ridiculous amount of cash for a humongous stuffed elephant just to see Piper smile. It had sat in the corner of her bedroom, Piper insisting that it looked fabulous rather than ridiculous as she had called it the moment she had clapped eyes on its new home. The elephant had remained there, much to Piper's delight, until she had returned from that fateful trip to Paris when it had been unceremoniously hurled from her balcony onto the street below in a fit of rage.

"Mummy's taking me while she has to work tonight"

Ava's face became troubled and Alex's stomach clenched and she eyed her warily trying to think of how to respond "I'm sorry you're stuck here with me Kid"

Ava shook her head "No I like you you're nicer than the other people Uncle Kubra works with. They don't talk to me much and they call mummy nasty names when they think I'm not listening"

Alex gestured with her hand to Ava and the girl moved from her spot on the floor and came to sit on the couch next to her.

"What do they say?"

Ava's teeth worried at her lip her little face drawn and pinched "Aydin calls her a whore and a white yuppie snob I don't really know what they mean but I know it isn't nice"

Alex didn't really know what to say to ease Ava's distress not really wanting to try and explain the insults for fear of making things a lot worse.

"Uncle Kubra said that she would be whoring herself tonight I don't understand what it means but I didn't want her to go. Mummy looked scared when she thought I wasn't looking. I didn't like it"

"She'll be ok Ava"

The girl still looked unsure and Alex feeling her nerves beginning to build once more went to the kitchenette in the large suite. Reaching into the cupboard she pulled out a glass and a small whiskey bottle feeling the need for a small drink. Ava turned to watch her and Alex watched as her gaze turned from troubled to frightened.

"What is it Ava?"

"Is that whiskey?"

Alex nodded confused at the girls reaction becoming even more confused when Ava scrambled up from the couch and began backing away from her.

"I think I'll go to bed now"

Alex moved from the kitchen her arm reaching out to the small girl and she felt a stab of hurt as Ava flinched back away from her.

"Hey it's ok I'm not going to hurt you"

"Daddy used to hit mummy when he drank whiskey. Mummy always said it was the whiskey that made him horrible that it wasn't his fault. If you drink it will it make you angry?"

Alex felt her heart ache for the little blonde in front of her. She made her way back to the kitchen, taking the bottle from the worktop she brought it to the living room acknowledging the fearful look that crossed Ava's features as she set the bottle on the coffee table.

"Whiskey is just another alcoholic drink, you can only have it when you're an adult and if you don't drink too much of it you are fine. It's no different from drinking coffee or any other drink that's for adults only like beer or wine"

Ava still looked wary and Alex smiled reassuringly "If I have one of these I will not become angry and hit you or anyone else ok? Your daddy must have had a temper it wouldn't have been the whiskey that made him angry but I must admit it he was drinking a lot it won't have helped"

Understanding seemed to dawn across Ava's face, the fear receding and Alex felt relieved that she had managed to diffuse the situation but then Ava's features twisted with anger.

"I hate what Daddy did to mummy I hate him, I hate him Alex"

Tears built in baby blue eyes and began to fall rapidly her hands clenched tightly at her sides. Alex not knowing what else to do, pushing away her own discomfort, wrapped a long arm around little shaking shoulders and pulled Ava into a slightly awkward hug.

"Don't cry Kid you're safe here you don't have to see him again. You'll be better off without him he sounds like a horrible person"

Alex felt Ava nod under her armpit and she pulled back slightly raising a hand to wipe at Ava's cheeks.

"Did he ever hit you?"

Ava shook her head "No he would be mean and say nasty things but he never hit me. I used to hide under the duvet as he would yell and break things then I would sneak into the bathroom and help mummy clean herself up"

"Your mum is a lucky woman to have such a brave and caring daughter"

"I remember when he used to be nice I don't understand why he turned so nasty"

"Well it won't have been your mums fault or yours. From now on it will all be fine you'll see"

Ava just shrugged and tucked her body back under Alex's arm. Alex felt sorry for the little girl in her hold who had been traumatised by her brute of a father. Alex could tell Ava was still crying quietly and so she spoke trying to soothe her with the only way she could think of.

"When I was growing up it was just me and my mum and we had nothing but each other. We were dirt poor, I didn't really have toys growing up and my clothes, bought from charity shops, were always too small or too big"

Ava's snuffles had quieted and Alex knew she was listening intently so she turned her head so that she could look into watery blue eyes.

"The other kids at school used to pick on me for it, call me names, push me about, things like that. Mum always used to say tell them you're cool that you're dads a rock star and they'll leave you alone. That was what she always told me for him not being around"

"Was he really a rock star?"

Alex shook her head "He just played drums in a band but what I'm trying to say is you don't need a father in your life, I didn't and I turned out alright. It was always just me and my mum and I loved it because although we didn't have money she loved me and would do anything for me"

"My mummy loves me she ran away from daddy because she was frightened he would hurt me"

"Well there you go then that's all you need isn't it. Don't even waste your time thinking about him anymore he doesn't deserve it and you and your mum will be better off without him"

Alex smiled at the girl in her arms feeling pleased when a small smile crept across the girls features the tears beginning to slow.

"Thanks Alex"

Feeling strangely overcome with long forgotten emotions Alex swallowed down the lump in her throat and gave a small shoulder a quick squeeze.

"Anytime Kid"

* * *

Piper sat with her limbs trembling uncontrollably shivering no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get her body under control. It wasn't that she was cold in fact she felt almost numb to everything around her. She lay in the foetal position a thin white sheet pulled up above her and she forced herself to take slow calming breaths as she concentrated hard on Ava. As she pictured her blonde haired angel her body began to relax the tremors slowly beginning to leave her aching limbs.

Everything hurt her body was bruised, her nose bloody and she was almost certain she could feel her left eye beginning to swell shut feeling an uncomfortable pressure beginning to build where her eyebrow ran. They had been like savages, caveman brutes intent on taking what they desired with not one thought or care for the woman who had been forced to lay underneath them. They had been crude and hurtful hitting her when she cried out in pain or when the tears that she tried so hard not to shed escaped there confines and slid down a bruised cheek. Kubra had been almost apoplectic with rage when he had entered the room as they finished, raging over the use of their fists. It was not part of the agreement he had roared and they had left her lying there alone while the argument surged on somewhere else, somewhere she would not be privy to the details. Now she had no idea how long she had lay here all she knew was she didn't even want to move.

She hoped Ava was happy with Alex, hoped they were enjoying each other's company and had managed to find common ground so that Ava could stay in blissful ignorance of the horrors that Kubra's business entailed. She simultaneously wished to be back in her suite, were she could soak in hot water and sleep in her own bed, but also wished to remain here so that her daughter would not see what a weak pathetic mess her mother had once again been reduced to.

"Piper?"

She had not heard the door open or the footsteps approaching the bed the voice startled her and she pulled her legs up tighter wishing she could be left alone.

"Piper it's alright now"

Bringing her hands away from her face she focused her slightly blurry vision on Kubra's face as best she could trying to read the emotion in his eyes. It was a mixture of scorn and pity and she wished he would look away.

"I promise you will never have to see these men again. They overstepped a mark, broke my rules and it is something that they will not have another opportunity to do so"

"Even Mr Anderson?"

Kubra nodded his eyes flashing in rage "No you will not be seeing him again I will have no dealings with a man who does not control his underlings and does not have the correct respect for my property"

His words would have once made her sick with rage, the idea that someone could even think of her as property would have ignited the hot flames of anger. But now lying here on this grimy bed she did not feel rage only blessed relief that those men would never touch her again.

"I'm going to take you to a friend of mine and get your injuries looked at. Can you stand?"

She nodded her head and sat up grateful for Kubra's steadying hand as the room swam in front of her eyes.

"Easy Piper"

As she went to stand she blushed realising that she was still naked and she looked at Kubra desperate for him to hear the unspoken request.

"I will wait outside, you must be quick as we are no longer welcome here we must leave immediately"

After hurriedly pulling on her underwear and her dress Piper met Kubra outside true to his word he had waited just outside the door and he placed his arm around her almost dragging her along as they made there way to the car outside. Two of Kubra's men flanked the black BMW they had arrived in and they inclined their heads as Kubra approached.

"We need to visit the doctor can you get us there as quickly as possible"

One of the men ran his eyes over her body and Piper lifted her head to meet his stare his face remained impassive but he spoke hurriedly to the other man getting them firmly seated in the car as quickly as was physically possible.

* * *

"Have you travelled to lots of places?"

They had been sat watching a documentary on the jungles in Africa Ava asking lots of questions about all the different animals that came onto the screen. Alex had now fully relaxed and she was actually enjoying answering Ava's questions it had surprised her the ease at which she now found herself and she was beginning to enjoy the evening.

"Yeah I've been quite a few different countries"

"Have you been to England?"

Alex nodded "Yes not just for business"

"Like a holiday?"

"Yes also when I've travelled to Europe I've had to stop over in England waiting for the next flight so I've had a couple of days to explore London"

Ava was looking at her intently and it made Alex quite proud that the young girl found her so interesting.

"That's where the queen lives"

"It is at Buckingham palace I had my picture taken with one of the guards. They have to stand there all day and not move with these bearskin hats"

Alex reached for her phone bringing up a picture so that she could show Ava what she had seen.

"That's so cool. We learnt about England at school about Kings and Queens the palace looks awesome"

"It was. I really love London"

Ava nodded "I think I would like to go to England they talk the same as us so I wouldn't have to learn any weird languages that I can't understand"

Alex laughed loudly and Ava pouted up at her "I'm crap at languages as well Kid so I'm with you on that one"

"Can I come with you?"

Alex looked at Ava in shock her eyebrows almost disappearing into her hairline.

"Come with me were exactly?"

Ava rolled her eyes as if she was stupid and Alex wanted to chuckle.

"To London!"

Alex laughed but Ava's face remained serious and Alex soon realised she wasn't joking. Not wanting to disappoint the blonde but knowing that there was no way she could promise something that would never happen Alex chose her words carefully.

"I'm not planning on going back anytime soon but maybe when you're older one day if we still know one another"

Ava's whole face lit up with a smile so wide it was threatening to take over her face.

"You are so cool Alex I can't wait to tell my mummy!"

Alex just smiled hesitantly guessing that Ava's mum would probably not be happy with her but at the same time she hoped she would understand she had not wanted to cause aggravation. Wanting to end the talk of holidays to London Alex reached for the remote and switched channels the screen changing to show the opening credits of Tarzan.

"Right well shall we settle down and watch this? You can tell me everything you know about gorillas"

Ava nodded eagerly and moved so that she was settled under her arm cuddled into her side. At first Alex stiffened at the contact but once the movie had begun she too relaxed laughing along with Ava enjoying the simple act of watching a film more than she had in ages. Glancing down at the giggling blonde she found herself almost looking forward to any future babysitting Kubra nominated her for.

* * *

An hour and a half later Piper's nose had been reset and her face had been cleaned. She had been given an ice pack and told in no uncertain tones that it must remain on her face as long as possible to reduce the inevitable swelling. Her ribs although bruised were not broken and Piper had let out a sigh of relief when she had been administered a small dose of morphine the throbbing pain in her side reducing to a dull ache.

When they reached the Casino Kubra escorted her to her suite and settled her onto the couch letting her make herself as comfortable as possible while he poured two tumblers with a generous measure of whiskey. Passing her one of the glasses he slipped of his suit jacket and loosened his tie it was the most laid back Piper had seen him since she had become his employee.

"I am sorry"

Piper shook her head slightly not wanting to hear his apologies they would not help and she would not provide him with forgiveness to ease his conscience.

"They were told not to harm you I warned Mr Anderson after his little display the other day that you were not to be touched by his fists"

Piper felt nothing it was if she was so emotionally drained that she wasn't even capable of drumming up the basic reactions required of a human being. Wanting to feel anything other than swirling black numbness she knocked back the whiskey in one gulp relishing the burn as it slid down her throat.

"I think you should go to bed Piper"

"Could you bring me the whiskey bottle Kubra?"

For once he did not chastise her for ignoring his suggestion instead he just stared at her before he fetched the bottle from the kitchen. Setting it down on the coffee table he stood and pulled on his suit jacket.

"I will come and check on you in the morning"

Piper did not reply instead she just reached for the bottle discarding the glass she unscrewed the top and took a large gulp.

"Goodnight Piper"

The moment the door closed Piper let out a half yell half sob it sounded almost animalistic the raw cry tearing itself from her throat. Rage descended upon her and she hurled the now half empty bottle against the wall revelling in the noise of the glass splintering into numerous pieces. Her life felt as if it was spiralling out of control and she no longer knew how to stop it.

Wincing she pulled herself up from the couch and labouredly made her way to the bathroom. Looking at her face in the mirror she cringed at the sight her eyes were already turning black and there was a small cut above her left eyebrow that the doctor had sealed together with two steristrips. What she was going to tell Ava she didn't know and she began to sob losing herself in the tears as she cried for the hopelessness of her situation once more.


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N This one is a little shorter but life seems intent on getting in the way of my writing at the minute which is becoming a slight nuisance. As always thank you for the reviews so far and if you have the time please continue it honestly makes my day :)**

 **Disclaimer: These characters are not mine and do not belong to me, well with the exception of Ava, I am only borrowing them to allow me to indulge in my pastime of writing dark angsty OITNB fanfics. (I don't think I have ever put in a disclaimer before so thought I better had do just in case)**

* * *

"I know you said you would be here first thing but this is earlier than I imagined"

Alex tried hard to keep the irritation from her face as she wrapped her silk dressing gown around her more tightly feeling slightly exposed. She did not need to worry, Kubra barely glanced at her as she let him into the suite. He looked exhausted, stressed his usual flawless disposition looking strangely unkempt.

"Coffee?"

"That would be much appreciated Alex"

"Sorry about the mess the Kid's in my bed so I had to make up the couch"

Kubra just nodded distractedly as folded the duvet to one side and he sat down heavily his face coming to rest in his hands. Switching on the coffee machine Alex lent against the kitchen worktop casting an appraising eye over her boss she was trying to push her nerves away wondering exactly what had gone wrong to reduce Kubra to this state. Bringing over two strong coffees Alex placed herself down onto the couch artfully crossing her long legs. Carefully she raised one eyebrow in Kubra's direction and when he did not begin to talk she decided to go for the direct approach.

"You look like shit"

"You have always had such a way with words"

Alex snorted ignoring the deliberate delaying tactic "What the fuck has happened? You look like someone died or rather you look like you have lost a lot of money. Did Aydin fuck up his run?"

Kubra shook his head and took a large gulp of his drink. Alex waited patiently for an explanation and just as she was about to lose patience Kubra finally spoke as he ran a hand across his face tiredly.

"I need you to keep Ava here with you for a couple of days"

Alex's mouth dropped open and she just stared for a moment in shock. Finally she smirked and let out a low chuckle hoping that Kubra was joking even though she knew deep down he wasn't.

"Very funny now really what's the matter?"

"I am being serious, I wish I wasn't but I'm afraid this is not being said in jest"

Alex pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a deep breath trying to remain calm. Although she had enjoyed her evening with Ava this was not what she had in mind when Kubra had given her some time off to recuperate. A one off night of babysitting suddenly becoming three consecutive days irked her especially after Kubra knew of her initial concerns.

"Right I think you owe me an explanation what the fuck has happened?"

"As I have said before Ava's mother is a deal sweetener she accompanied me to a meeting last night and was to service Mr Anderson and three of his men that are higher up the ranking within his packaging business. They got a little carried away in their excitement and behaved like animalistic cavemen. I have learnt that Mr Anderson does not have his men under any sort of control when their way of subduing a woman is to resort to their fists"

Alex felt sick to her stomach at the image her brain conjured up at Kubra's words and she felt desperately sorry for a woman she didn't know. Using your body to make money was one thing but Alex did not condone violence in any way and especially not in prostitution. To her it crossed the line from paying sex to abuse and it repulsed her.

"The way you let your associates use those girls disgusts me"

Kubra snarled his upper lip curling but Alex held his stare. This time she wasn't backing down.

"This one is not a girl and as I told you yesterday she knew what she was signing up for!"

Alex raised an eyebrow and scoffed "I highly doubt it she escaped one abusive relationship and has found herself subjected to others. I thought they spread their legs for you not become punching bags at the same time"

Kubra scoffed "They don't I have dealt with the matter it will not happen again"

"Well I am pleased"

She did not hide the sarcasm from her voice neither did she take the look of disgust from her face. She understood the purpose of the prostitutes Kubra employed but it sickened her, even more so now that she knew it was little Ava's mother.

"Is she alright?"

"Broken nose, black eyes and bruised ribs she will be fine but I do not want Ava to see her in the state she is currently in"

Alex sighed she really did not want to have to play babysitter but after her heart to heart with the young girl the night before she also did not wish for Ava to be upset. It was this that made her so angry, Kubra had not upheld his end of the deal promising them safety and protection, last night he had provided neither. She knew Ava liked her and enjoyed spending time with her but she also knew that Ava would not understand why she suddenly would not be allowed to see her mum.

"Ok Ava can stay here with me but only until the mother is better then she needs to be back were she belongs Kubra"

Kubra looked relieved and inclined his head in thanks.

"Firstly though what are we going to tell Ava?"

"Why can't I go and see mummy?"

Simultaneously they turned to the bedroom door were Ava was standing, one pyjama leg rucked up over her knee and her hair mussed from sleep. Her eyes were large and fearful, her face pinched with worry.

"You said Alex I have to stay here but why can't I go and see mummy?"

Kubra recovered from his shock first and he placed a comforting smile across his features Alex soon following suite.

"Come here my angel"

Ava walked over slowly but she did not move to sit on Kubra's offered knee, her face remained wary and Alex noticed how both she and Kubra struggled to hold in their looks of surprise as instead she remained standing, leaning against Alex's long legs.

"I want to go to mummy now"

Her voice wavered and she turned her head to Alex a pleading look upon her face, tears filling her eyes. Kubra's face creased with concern and Alex just looked to him waiting to see how he proceeded.

"Angel..."

"I want to see her I need to look after her if she's been hurt. I know what to do I promise"

Kubra seemed at a loss as to how to continue and Alex inwardly rolled her eyes. Men were so inept at dealing with emotions. Fixing a comforting smile across her face Alex ran a hand down Ava's arm gently.

"I'm sure you do Ava but your mummy just has a few bumps and scrapes, she's going to be fine"

Alex made sure to keep her voice calm in the face of Ava's building hysteria.

"Did someone hit her?"

Alex hesitated and she looked at Kubra imploringly when Kubra inclined his head slightly Ava's grip on her knee tightened considerably her knuckles turning white.

"Ava I'm so sorry I've dealt with the man who did it he will not harm your mother ever again"

"No! Uncle Kubra you promised to keep us safe! You promised mummy you wouldn't let anyone hurt her anymore she told me"

Kubra's outstretched hand remained empty as Ava buried her head into Alex's lap her face crumpled the tears coming thick and fast her little shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Alex went stock still hesitating not really knowing what to do, her automatic reaction to tense awkwardly, not knowing what comfort would be welcomed. Before she could decide how best to react Ava was already pulling away moving to stand to one side her head bowed.

"Sorry Alex"

The crestfallen expression tugged at Alex's heartstrings and she smiled encouragingly forcing her muscles to relax.

"You just startled me Kid that's all come here"

Ava did not move and so Alex got up from her seat and moved towards the blonde. Wrapping an arm around rigid shoulders Alex cuddled Ava closely until those shoulders relaxed and she felt the girls warm weight settle against her side.

"I'll tell you what Kubra is going to take you to see your mum and then you are going to come and stay with me until she is better. How does that sound?"

Ava nodded hesitantly and Alex turned to look at Kubra who was shaking his head a look of irritation on his face.

"She needs to see her mum Kubra then she can stop worrying isn't that right Ava?"

Ava nodded slowly looking at Kubra hesitantly and Alex squeezed the little hand in her own reassuringly.

"Ava go into Alex's room please"

Ava looked from Alex to Kubra her face becoming set in determination and Alex almost smirked at the sight of Kubra being challenged by an angry 8 year old.

"No, please Uncle Kubra I want to go and see mummy!"

"Ava-"

"No Uncle Kubra no, I don't-"

"Get inside that room this instant!"

Kubra's voice echoed in the small face his irritation clear and Ava flinched at the anger in his voice. Bottom lip trembling she backed away slowly before she bolted into the bedroom closing the door firmly shut behind her. Alex could hear her sobs and with her own anger flooding her veins she turned to Kubra her voice scathing.

"Well that went well"

Alex watched as Kubra rolled his neck and shoulders while taking a deep breath obviously trying to force the tension away that stubbornly remained there.

"I didn't think she would be listening that was most unfortunate"

"It's not going to work shutting her away, not letting her see her mother. Ava's frightened and worried and let's face it it's not like it's something she hasn't seen before. From the sounds of it she's been helping to patch the poor cow up for years"

Kubra just ignored her his gaze fixed firmly on his hands his eyes tightly shut. The lack of reaction irked her she would not be ignored like an underling so she spoke the words she knew would get a response.

"If you won't take her I will"

"You will not"

Kubra's voice was as cold as ice and as his eyes snapped to her own even Alex felt a slight shiver run down her spine at his tone. It was one he didn't use with her often. The only time Alex had ever seen that look in Kubra's eye was when Fahri had been killed and Alex realised that her boss was somebody she never wanted to disappoint ever again.

"Do not forget your place Alex I will take the girl only because she has already overheard too much. You though need to remember to hold your tongue in future. Just remember Fahri was my favourite once and look what happened there"

Swallowing down the bile that raised at the back of her throat at the memory of Fahri's lifeless stare his brain matter oozing onto the hotel carpet. It had been of his own doing he too had been dabbling in the company product but Fahri had been a far better addict than herself. He had taken to heroin like a duck to water and his job performance had suffered dramatically. Kubra had tried to get Fahri clean but it hadn't worked and his fatal mistake was to allow one of their mules to be arrested having missed picking her up from the airport. It was the closest Kubra had ever come to being exposed and Fahri had paid the ultimate price for his mistake. Shivering at the thought Alex nodded and looked away from the man sat looking so calmly at her after after uttering such a threatening statement. Even though she knew deep down it was an empty threat Kubra succeeded in his attempt to scare her as her stomach clenched and her body shuddered.

"Do not leave the hotel I do not know how long I will be and I do not want to be left waiting"

Alex nodded and she watched uncomfortably as Kubra ordered Ava from the bedroom. Ava turned to look at her fearfully but Alex smiled and nodded her head and she felt a small sense of relief when Ava's features relaxed slightly and she gave her a small wave.

"See you soon Alex"

"I'll see you in a bit Kid"

When the door closed behind them she sighed and cleaned the coffee cups from the table. How she ended up being involved in such a mess she didn't know but she hoped the little blonde was going to be alright.

* * *

Piper opened her eyes blearily and rolled her tongue around her teeth. Her mouth felt like sandpaper and she knew it was a side effect to the morphine that she was to take every eight hours. It was also making her incredibly drowsy and she was shocked at how long she had managed to sleep. Turning her head she tried to reach for the glass of water that was on the bedside table but found she couldn't lift her arm. Glancing down a smile stretched across her face as she realised why she couldn't move. Ava was fast asleep lying across her arm her little face buried into the crook of her armpit. She looked so beautiful lying there that Piper just stopped for a moment and stared her heart filling with love and for a moment her aches and pains fell away as she stared at her blonde haired angel.

"God I love you so much"

The whispered words caressed blonde hair and she pressed a kiss to her head inhaling her daughter's scent. Ava stirred slowly and baby blue eyes fluttered open a small hesitant smile beginning to light up such an innocent face.

"Hey baby I didn't know you had arrived"

Ava nuzzled into her for a moment before she sat up a small frown creasing her forehead her face turning serious.

"Are you ok mummy? Can I get you anything?"

Ava her daughter and protector all rolled into one and it made her feel both proud and upset at the same time. It shouldn't be like this Piper thought and once again she wished she could be the mother her daughter deserved.

"Could you pass me my water poppet?"

Piper took a large drink immediately feeling the relief from the cold liquid it soothed her throat sore from last nights sobbing and her voice immediately sounded more like her own.

"Thank you darling"

"Are you feeling ok?"

"Yes I am"

The lie came easily wanting to ease the worry she could obviously see and when Ava smiled Piper relaxed the little white lie was worth it.

"Your face looks really sore though"

"It's looks worse than it is I promise. Did Uncle Kubra tell you what happened?"

Ava nodded slowly and Piper's stomach clenched.

"He said a nasty man hurt you but not to worry because he won't be doing it again Uncle Kubra promised"

Pleased that Kubra had at least had the decency to spare her daughter the gory details Piper nodded in agreement.

"That's right so it's nothing you need to be mad about"

Ava nodded although Piper could practically see the wheels turning in her head and she wished she could see the thoughts whirring in her daughter's brain.

"Uncle Kubra says I can't stay here tonight while you're poorly but I don't want to leave you on your own mummy"

Piper already knew this and for once she had agreed with Kubra's reasoning when he had arrived to see her first thing this morning. She knew she wasn't in any fit state to feed Ava or look after her while she still had to take the morphine. Even though she knew it was for the best Piper's heart ached with longing when she knew Ava would be spending another night away from her.

"Is Alex going to look after you?"

Ava nodded slowly still not looking at all happy and Piper cupped her chin with her hand running the pad of her thumb down a soft cheek.

"You like Alex though don't you? And I'll be fine here I'll just stay in bed and sleep that way I'll get better quicker and you can come back here were you belong"

Ava smiled hesitantly as she nodded "I do like Alex she understands"

Piper felt confused "What does Alex understand?"

"What it's like to just live with your Mummy and to have a Daddy who's not a very nice person"

The words were spoken so matter of factly that it would have shocked Piper but in their reality it didn't. Larry had been useless, a bully and a tyrant, and she already knew the story of Alex's own disappointment when meeting her father.

"Alex is a good person she always has been she'll look after you"

Piper hadn't realised the truth of her words until Ava looked at her questioningly "How do you know Alex is nice, have you met her?"

Feeling the need to backtrack and quickly knowing exactly what Kubra would do if he so much as suspected she had told Ava anything regarding Alex Piper smiled gently and shook her head.

"Kubra said she was a good person and he trusts her she's his friend"

"Yes but have you met her?"

Luckily Piper was saved from answering when there was a knock on her bedroom door.

"Hello?"

Aydin popped his head around the door and cleared his throat "I've been told it's time for Ava to go, I have to take her to Al-, I mean take her upstairs I presume you will be alright?"

Piper nodded as Ava's hand gripped her own tightly and she pressed a loving kiss to her daughters cheek.

"You will be fine my darling and so will I. Now come on don't leave Aydin waiting I will see you in the morning for cuddles"

Ava wrapped her arms around her waist and pressed a kiss to her chest "I love you mummy, do you promise I can come in the morning?"

Feeling Aydin's gaze upon her Piper turned to look at him but he did not offer any guidance just continued to stare.

"As long as it goes not interfere with anyone else's plans then yes"

Ava looked at her curiously and Piper tried to smile reassuringly.

"Here's your next morphine dose"

Aydin left the pill next to the bed and then gestured at Ava gruffly "Come on I've got things to do"

Ava gave her one last worried look before she reluctantly stood and followed Aydin to the door.

"Night mummy"

"I love you darling good night"


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N Your reviews for the last chapter have been extra encouraging this week because I have been poorly, in fact I am still poorly, which has made me very grumpy so the reviews at least brought a smile to my face. So while being confined to the house waiting for smile inducing reviews I tried to force my lethargic, weary brain to narrate my story and eventually this chapter was produced.**

 **I have posted this hoping that you won't catch any germs or grumpiness and in the hope that you feel kind enough to leave more smile inducing reviews for my sickly self.**

* * *

"Did you get what I asked for?"

"Yes of course but what on earth do you want with a crappy children's book?"

The vivacious red head continued to lay sloppy kisses down her neck and Alex suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. She had needed a favour and so had called upon one of her usual mules while Kubra had ordered her to remain at his beck and call within the hotel. As always she had repaid the favour in the thing that cost her the least but guaranteed their loyalty, orgasms. She was now trying to hurry Lindsey on her way knowing that Kubra would be arriving with Ava any minute now and wanting to avoid any unnecessary awkwardness.

"I just need it ok? Now can we wrap this up I have a meeting to attend to"

Lindsey pouted running a hand down Alex's cheek she pulled back scowling at her gently.

"You sure know how to make a woman feel special Alex"

The words irritated her Lindsey knew the deal she was someone she called upon occasionally to warm her bed nothing more. Alex had never promised anything else and it always irked her that some of her mules tried to turn it into something more than she was willing to offer. Business and her personal life was not something she would ever make the mistake of mixing again.

A sharp knock echoed into the room and Alex cursed under her breath as Lindsey raised her eyebrows and darted to the door. Opening the door her eyes went wide at the sight of the little blonde standing beside Aydin.

"No wonder you won't commit to more is she yours?"

Alex shook her head and gestured irritably for Lindsey to leave.

"Call me next time you need a favour Alex maybe then we can make it a little more special"

The redhead winked, pressed a lingering kiss to Alex's cheek then brushed past Aydin who looked at her with a knowing smirk across his face.

"I hope we weren't interrupting but Kubra did say you were expecting us"

Alex just scowled at Aydin already feeling irritated and she was about to retaliate sharply before she saw Ava watching her curiously. Swallowing down her aggravation she rearranged her face into a gentle smile.

"Hey Kid"

"Who was that?"

Aydin grinned widely, while Alex avoided probing blue eyes, obviously revelling in her discomfort and Alex internally seethed wishing she could wipe the smirk of Aydin's smug face.

"Nobody you need to know about"

"Well I have places to be we can't all sit about playing Barbies can we, see you soon Alex if you can be arsed doing some work anytime soon that is"

Flipping him the finger Alex slammed the door behind Aydin's retreating back winking as Ava giggled at her from behind her hand.

"Aydin is silly"

Alex grinned in agreement as Ava dumped her bag and coat on the armchair then turned to look at Alex expectantly "Can I have a drink?"

Nodding Alex grabbed a couple of cans of coke from the kitchen coming to settle next to Ava on her couch as she handed her the fizzy drink.

"Thanks Alex I love coke"

The way Ava said it made Alex raise an eyebrow "Are you allowed to drink it?"

"As a treat my mummy says it has too much sugar in it. I have to have water or fruit juice usually even though they're boring"

Making a mental note to go to the shop in the morning to pick up some orange juice Alex turned to Ava expectantly.

"How's your mum?"

Ava shuffled uncomfortably and Alex reached out giving her knee a comforting squeeze. She knew it must be hard for the girl but she didn't want it to become the elephant in the room that nobody spoke about knowing that in the long run it would only make it more difficult.

"Bruised and sleeping a lot but she says it's because of the pills uncle Kubra got for her, morine?"

"Morphine, it'll reduce the pain and yes it does make you sleep a lot but that's a good thing it gives the body chance to heal itself"

"She has a nasty cut through her eyebrow and two black eyes they look really sore. When Aydin came I didn't want to leave her"

Ava went quiet and Alex leant forward so that she could see into worried eyes "You know why you're here though don't you?"

Ava bit down on her lip and avoided Alex's gaze taking Ava's chin in her hands she made the little blonde look at her as she explained.

"It's so your mum can get some rest so she gets better quickly you're being really helpful just by being here keeping me company"

Ava looked at her intently and Alex quirked an eyebrow "So it's a win win situation really your mum gets a chance to rest and I don't have to be here all on my own. That is of course if you don't mind being my friend for the evening"

Ava shook her head smiling "I don't mind I like you Alex, I think I'd like to be your friend"

"Good because I don't mind you either"

They both grinned simultaneously until they were interrupted by Ava's stomach rumbling loudly.

"You hungry Kid?"

Ava nodded shyly her cheeks blushing red and Alex chuckled before she stood up stretching her arms above her head her back cracking loudly in response.

"Grab your coat then"

"Why where are we going?"

Alex rolled her eyes "To get food, I don't know about you but I'm in the mood for pizza shall we go and pick one up?"

Ava nodded enthusiastically but then she paused and gestured to the phone "Don't you need to ask Kubra?"

Alex snorted "No why would I? Kubra might be my boss but I'm my own person I can do whatever I want"

Ava shrunk back slightly her face confused "Mummy has to ask for his permission when she wants to go out"

Alex frowned that was strange she was fairly certain that as long as his girls did not miss any of their pre booked appointments with his clients Kubra allowed them to live their lives as normal. The hotel was effectively their home and they were allowed to come and go as they pleased. It was strange that Kubra would demand his permission to be sought before Ava's mum travelled. It was weirdly controlling and Alex found herself curious once again about the identity of Ava's mother and who she was to Kubra.

"Well I don't have to so come on grab your coat and let's get going before that tummy of yours rumbles any louder!"

* * *

"...and so I think my all time favourite is pepperoni, just pepperoni not with any of the yucky vegetables mummy tries to make me have but I just pick them off when she's not looking"

Alex nodded her head and smirked as she watched Ava smile up at her brightly out of the corner of her eye. Ever since they had left the apartment the little blonde had not paused to take a breath she had talked about everything and nothing and as long as Alex nodded or smiled she seemed perfectly happy to skip along at the side of her. Deciding against purchasing a take out they had dined in a little pizzeria Alex liked to go to when she had the chance. They had eaten a large pepperoni pizza between them that Ava had eagerly chosen when Alex had agreed she could have whatever she wanted.

"Do you have a husband?"

The question startled her from her musings and Alex stared down at the blonde raising her eyebrows.

"No"

"Fiancé?"

"No"

"Boyfriend?"

"Nope"

"...Girlfriend?"

Alex smirked at the hesitant question "I haven't at the moment"

"So you like girls?"

Alex stopped walking and seeing such a serious expression on Ava's face she let out a little sigh. Looking around she gestured to a bench at the side of the road they were walking on thinking that this maybe was a conversation that would be better to be sitting for. Ava instantly understand her gesture and she ran over to the seat sitting down eagerly looking up at her obviously waiting for her response. Alex sat down next to her and stretched her long legs out in front of her before answering Ava's earlier question.

"You asked if I liked women well the answer is yes I do"

Ava went quiet her eyes fixed on the pavement her little legs swinging back and to. Alex felt a pang of discomfort wash over her she did not usually care about people's opinions on her sexuality but for some reason it mattered to her what Ava thought about it.

"Does that bother you?"

"James Taylor had two dads at my old school we had a lesson about the different types of love. They told us that a man and a woman could love one another and be together like a couple but also a man and a man could or a woman and a woman. It made sense to me why would it matter who you love?"

Alex smiled at Ava her heart feeling considerably lighter than it had a moment ago she was also incredibly impressed by the mature attitude that Ava was showing in her explanation.

"The school had to ask permission from our parents and mummy thought it was stupid"

"Why did she think that?"

She hoped her tone merely sounded curious rather than angry it rankled her that some parents would think it stupid to teach their children about such matters.

"Because she didn't understand why she had to give permission. She said it was something that should just be talked about like normal because it is normal. It made her really mad but daddy used to say nasty things when they were arguing about her liking women and being a freak so it must have just made her cross"

Sometimes the honesty in Ava was startling but it was also refreshing to hear her speak her mind in the way only young children could without fear of repercussions. She was curious to here Ava's mum seemed to also be interested in women or at least had maybe been with a woman previously but she pushed aside her curiosity not wanting to sound like she was prying.

"Your mummy talks a lot of sense"

Ava nodded her head but still she did not meet Alex's gaze.

"So you don't mind that I like women?"

Ava finally met her gaze and just smiled shaking her head "No I don't mind. Are you just a lesbian or do you like boys too? Or do you fall on some sort of scale? Mummy tried to explain to me after the lesson at school but I didn't really understand"

The expression Ava had tried to make sense of made Alex think of another blonde who was once very present in her life and it brought back a pang of want for Piper Chapman. The amount of times Piper had lectured her when she had accused her of being straight and experimenting meant Alex could practically recite her speech regarding the Kinsey Scale and how she just liked hot people, man or woman she didn't care. It made her look curiously at Ava once more she was so alike Piper in many ways it made her slightly suspicious and for a moment she wondered whether she could be related to her ex girlfriend.

As quickly as the thought crossed her mind she shook her head and snorted at her own ridiculousness. It wasn't possible Kubra would have told her and Piper would never associate herself with the cartel, it just wasn't possible. She cursed her own heart for playing with her thoughts it seemed she was looking for Piper everywhere desperate to seek her out and she needed to stop. Realising she hadn't answered Ava's question Alex let out a low chuckle as she thought on what she had been asked.

"No, no boys for me Kid just women thanks"

"So why haven't you got a girlfriend?"

That question stumped her for a moment and she tried not to look affected by the question. Shrugging her shoulders lightly she just smiled in Ava's direction who was now looking at her intently.

"I haven't been looking for one"

Ava scowled "Well that's silly you're really nice and really pretty so I think you would be a really good girlfriend"

Alex wrapped an arm loosely around Ava's shoulder and ruffled her hair "Thanks Kid"

"So that lady before..."

Alex shook her head quickly pulling her face at the thought of Lindsey being a full time girlfriend.

"No she just works for me"

"Good I didn't like her she looked frowny and you cringed when she kissed you. I think you could get a better girlfriend than her"

Alex laughed loudly and cuddled Ava closer when she felt the blonde begin to shiver slightly she squeezed her shoulder lightly.

"Shall we head back?"

Ava nodded hurriedly "I'm cold"

"Come on then if we hurry I might even make you a hot chocolate"

"Promise?"

"Go on then"

Ava bolted up from the bench and started to run down the road back the way they came towards the casino her blonde hair whipping out behind her.

"Come on then slow poke!"

Letting out a bark of laughter Alex broke into a run wondering just how this little blonde had managed to worm her way into her affections quite so quickly.

* * *

"I have something for you"

Ava had just finished her hot chocolate and was sat on the couch wrapped in Alex's leather jacket. It was nearing her bedtime and she had been sat quietly colouring since they had returned while Alex had continued to read her novel. It had been nice an easy way to spend their time together and Alex was pleased at how uncomplicated it was to have the girl in her space. At her words Ava put her pens and paper to one side and turned to look at her eagerly her eyes dancing with excitement.

"Like a present?"

"Yes while you have been so good. I know this hasn't been easy for you and you have still been so well behaved"

Ava tried to look at her hands that she was hiding behind her back and Alex moved and placed the hastily wrapped package into small hands. Ava eagerly took the present and carefully peeled the corner of the paper away. When she had opened the paper she let out a a quiet wow and ran her hand gently down the cover of the book.

"Have you read it?"

"The Giraffe and the Pelly and Me by Roald Dahl" Ava shook her head her eyes eagerly drinking in the picture on the front cover.

"I haven't either so I don't know the story but I hope you will enjoy it"

Ava nodded slowly before she placed the book down onto the couch cushion as she clambered up. Kneeling upwards Ava placed a gentle kiss to her cheek before she cuddled into her side.

"Thanks Alex I'm really glad I met you"

Feeling as though her heart was in her mouth Alex blushed letting out a small smile.

"You're welcome Kid"

Ava yawned turning to look at Alex with tired eyes and Alex chuckled as she too began to yawn.

"Shall we get in bed?"

"You don't have to sleep on the couch again I promise I won't wriggle"

Alex's suite only had one bedroom but it had the largest living space. At the time of choosing her suite she had had no need for a second bedroom and instead had picked this one for the bigger area for entertaining and also for the superb view from the balcony.

"I don't mind Kid"

Ava pouted for a moment before she looked up at Alex from under her long eyelashes her face one of hope.

"Will you come and read the new story to me then before you go to sleep out here?"

Alex nodded "Now that I can do but first you need to have a wash and brush your teeth I don't want your mum thinking I don't know how to look after you properly"

Twenty minutes later Ava was bundled under the covers book firmly in hand and Alex had changed into her version of pjamas which where boy shorts and a black cami top.

"Wow!"

Alex curiously turned to see Ava staring at her wide eyed.

"How many tattoos have you got?"

"On this arm I have the roses with the woman and the tribal band" Alex turned her wrist from side to side "Then there's the salt shaker" Alex pulled her hair away from her shoulder and turned it towards Ava so that she could see. "Then finally this one" Alex touched her thigh and Ava scrambled up so that she could see the woman and rose more clearly.

"I think this one's my favourite!"

"I don't think I could pick between them I love each of them for different reasons"

Alex shivered as Ava traced her finger tip around the edge of the rose and she quickly pulled back.

"I'm sorry"

"No it's fine it just tickles"

"It's so cool! The colours are really bright and pretty, I wish I had one!"

Alex chuckled lowly "Next time you stay I'll draw you one in eyeliner and you can see what you would look like with your own tattoo how about that?"

Ava nodded furiously "Did you draw that?"

"Yes then the tattooist copied it on to my skin and voilà one very beautiful piece of body art"

"I didn't know you could draw? Do you like to colour to?"

Alex chuckled at the questions that were asked in rapid succession.

"I do but I like drawing in black and white I don't use that much colour"

"Will you draw me a picture tomorrow?"

Alex nodded "If you want me to"

Ava continued to stare in wonder her eyes flicking between her face and her tattoos. Alex prodded her softly distracting her from her staring "What would you have? You know if you could pick any tattoo?"

Ava frowned in concentration before she smiled hesitantly "I think I would have the roses like yours they are really pretty and the red and black is so bright and beautiful"

"You trying to copy my style?"

Alex winked letting Ava know she was joking and they both started to laugh as Ava nodded.

"I don't think mummy would let me have one though"

"Most mums say that"

"Did your mum?"

"No my mum was pretty cool"

Ava looked at her confused "Is she not cool now?"

Alex paused at the question thinking about Diane Vause was still a difficult thought process she still missed her mum as much now as when she had first died she had just got better at coping with her loss. At least once a week she wished she could phone her, tell her the happenings going on in her life. The latest had been when she had first looked after Ava she knew it would have caused Diane great amusement the thought of her willingly babysitting considering how much she had always balked at the idea of children.

"My mum died"

Ava's little face crumpled and she moved so that she was sitting between Alex's crossed legs her arms coming to wrap around her shoulders as best they could.

"I'm sorry Alex"

For a moment Alex hugged the little blonde back fiercely relishing in the comfort before she shook away the thoughts of her mother and leant back so that she could meet Ava's eyes.

"Thanks Kid"

"What did she look like?"

Alex untangled herself from the blonde and went to the bedside table pulling out the small tin that she kept there. This particular box only held a couple of personal items the rest were kept at her flat. Flicking through the small bundle of photographs, ignoring the couple that bore a certain blonde haired beauty, Alex finally settled on a picture that was taken when she first took Piper home to meet her mother.

"Here"

Ava handled the picture as though it was made of glass touching her finger to it gingerly as she stared at the smiling faces of Alex and Diane intently.

"She looks just like you!"

"Well technically I look just like her but I know what you mean"

"When was it taken?"

"About 12 years ago I think"

Ava looked up at her then back down at the picture before raising her head again tilting it to the side.

"You don't look any different apart from the blue in your hair"

Alex just laughed and took the photo from Ava looking at it briefly before she put it back in the box.

"Mummy has a box like that but it's bigger and made a wood. She thinks I don't know she has it but I've seen her take it out of her wardrobe. When she looks into it she always starts to cry I never wanted to look in incase I cry too"

"Some memories, no matter how painful, you still want to treasure and remember. What's in there probably wouldn't upset you but still you shouldn't look unless your mum tells you it's ok. It's not nice to root through people's things"

Ava nodded solemnly before she let out a large yawn her arms coming up to stretch over her head.

"I think we best start this story what do you think?"

Ava nodded and Alex tucked her up and made sure she was comfortable before she settled on top of the duvet propping the pillows up behind her head she allowed Ava to curl into her side as she held the story out in front of her.

"You comfy?"

Ava nodded and Alex opened the book to the first page and began to read.

"Not far from where I live there is a queer old empty wooden house standing all by itself ..."


	8. Chapter 8

**A.N Happily I'm all better now thanks for all your reviews they really did help me while I was sat feeling sorry for myself and pushed me to make my muzzy head work this week so much love to all :)**

"Have you ever been in love?"

Ava was watching cartoons a bowl of cereal balanced in her lap her face fixed on the screen in front of her. When Alex looked up she noticed that there was a dating advert being broadcast promising a guaranteed match and a life filled with love. Alex snorted internally if people were stupid enough to believe in that trash they deserved to be fleeced out of the $75 joining fee. Alex shook her head at the television she was bored, painfully so, three full days of being stuck in her suite was beginning to take its toll. Sitting idle had never been easy for her she liked to be on the go, making the most of any free time she had and it was making her irritable.

"Alex.."

"Sorry what?"

"Have you even been in love?"

Her brain stuttered and her usual snarky response at such a question died in her throat as Piper's face flashed clear as a photograph in her minds eye. It still startled her to this day that she could picture Piper in such clear detail as though it was only yesterday that she had last seen the striking blonde and not 10 years ago.

"Once"

The word was whispered and Alex flinched at her own pitifulness when she heard her usually strong voice break slightly over the word. Keeping her gaze firmly fixed on the television she watched out of the corner of her eye as Ava turned to look at her interestedly, but with a hint of a frown and Alex internally groaned. If there was ever a conversation she didn't want to have with an inquisitive 8 year old it was one were it involved herself, Piper and their relationship.

"Listen before you start asking questions it was a long time ago ok? I don't really want to talk about it"

"Did she hurt you?"

Alex closed her eyes and let out a sigh "Yes"

"Like daddy hurt mummy?"

Alex opened her eyes and was startled to see that Ava had moved so that she was standing right in front of her.

"No Kid"

Ava's brow furrowed in confusion "Well then how-"

"She broke up with me alright, that's it, end of story"

Ava nodded quickly her face creasing and Alex let out a large sigh knowing she shouldn't have snapped. None of this was the kid's fault and she knew she needed to get out somewhere otherwise she was going to end up blowing her top.

"Right come on I need a shower and you need to get dressed I have a meeting with Kubra then we need to go and get some fresh air"

Ava just nodded slowly her burning stare not lessening before she turned and made her way into Alex's bedroom.

* * *

"Piper, Piper!"

Piper shot up disorientated her hands reaching out to ward off any incoming attack. She had been dreaming about Larry he had been hitting her, screaming in her face but then his face had morphed into Mr Anderson's then the nameless faces she had been subjected to over the last few months. Fighting off the remnants of her dream her heart felt like it was trying to escape from her chest and her body felt slick with sweat.

"Calm down Piper its me"

Forcing the lingering dream from her mind she turned to look at Kubra who was standing at the end of the couch a disapproving look upon his features.

"Why aren't you in bed?"

"I was but I got up to make a drink I must have fallen asleep again"

Feeling like a chastised child Piper sat up quickly and ran a hand through her hair trying to make herself look less dishevelled. It had been four days since the night she was attacked her ribs were still tender, the bruises making an ugly patchwork across her skin, but everything else was healing nicely. She hoped that Kubra would see that she was well enough to have Ava back living with her full time. Although her daughter visited Kubra had insisted that she remain staying with Alex until she was '100%'. It had been torture saying goodbye each night but she had tried to hide the agony it had caused her not wanting Ava to become anymore upset. Each night the battle was becoming worse and even Kubra was beginning to lose his calm and patience when dealing with Ava's tantrums.

"Get showered and dressed you look terrible then meet me in my office in 2 hours I have things I wish to discuss with you"

His tone was foreboding and she cringed as he swept from the room slamming the door behind him the door practically rattling in the frame. After just over an hour she was showered and dressed in a smart fitted white shirt and dark skinny jeans. She had made a conscious effort to tie her hair back neatly and apply a small amount of make up wanting to cover up the yellowing bruises so that she looked more normal.

As she made her way to the kitchenette to make a drink her phone began to ring and she hurried to pick up the receiver knowing who's voice she would here at the end of the line.

"Hello"

"Morning mummy!"

Piper smiled instantly feeling better at hearing her daughter's eager voice.

"Good morning darling did you sleep well again?"

"I did! I love how comfy Alex's bed is but I think she's getting fed up of being on the couch she's been grumbling about her back this morning even though she thinks she's doing it quietly"

Piper had to bite her lip to stop herself from replying with 'some things never change'. If Alex fell asleep anywhere other than in whichever plush hotel bed they were supposed to be staying in she always moaned and whined about aching joints and stiff muscles. It usually resulted in Piper giving her a massage which would always inevitably lead to a round of hot, passionate sex.

"...and Kubra was in a really bad mood. Alex doesn't look very happy either"

Piper realised she had missed some of what her daughter had said in whispered tones while she was lost in her own thoughts.

"Sorry darling what was that?"

Ava sighed and Piper could picture her rolling her eyes at her inattentive listening.

"I said Kubra came and spoke with Alex he made me leave so I couldn't listen but when they let me back in the living room Kubra was in a horrible mood"

"Is Alex alright?"

Piper couldn't help herself from asking and she prayed her ex lover was not in the immediate vicinity depending on how Ava answered her question.

"I don't know she's gone all quiet again"

Ava paused for a moment before her voice spoke hesitantly.

"Do you think she's had enough of me being here she's being snappy and grumpy this morning?"

Truly Piper did not know but she wasn't going to try and explain that to Ava not wanting to upset her obviously worrying daughter.

"Nonsense who could get fed up of you I'm going crazy without you here. I'm missing you like you wouldn't believe"

"I told Kubra I wanted to come back and stay with you and he just said we'll see. I hate that it isn't a proper answer but when I told him that he shouted. I don't like him at the moment he's very grumpy"

Piper wanted to agree but she found she didn't dare she did not want to risk Ava repeating their conversation and Kubra finding out she had bad mouthed him. She was certain it would not go down well and while Ava might get away with receiving a mild telling off she knew her punishment would be much more severe.

"Ava? We need to go otherwise I'm going to have to listen to fucking Aydin whinge about us being late"

Piper was pretty certain her heart stopped beating when she heard those beautiful husky tones for the first time in 10 years. Such was the rush of emotions she felt tears well up in her eyes and she had to stop herself from crying out, shouting to Alex that she was here.

"I'm talking to mummy and you shouldn't say that word it's not nice"

Piper smiled a heartbroken smile as she heard Alex softly chuckle and the pain only intensified when Alex spoke again "I'm sorry Kid"

Kid, once her treasured nickname, the one she pouted at but secretly loved because Alex always said it with such love and affection. It was strange hearing it now when it wasn't meant for her and as much as she wished it didn't it hurt, that the nickname that was once solely hers was given to others, it did causing her chest to ache with the intensity. Even if by others it was her daughter. Piper brought her hand up to her chest feeling her heart beating wildly under her fingertips and she felt both relief and devastation that she couldn't say a word in return.

"Where are you going?"

"Alex has to drop something to Aydin then we're going for a walk around the park to get some fresh air. Well Alex says that's why we're going but I just want to go on the swings!"

Piper laughed smiling widely as she heard Alex chuckle along in the background as well.

"Would you like to speak to her? Alex is really nice"

"I know Ava but I can't"

"Why not?"

Piper hearing Alex ask for the receiver began to panic and she garbled to Ava her fear rushing out in her words.

"I just can't Ava it'll upset Kubra, I'm sorry I've got to go I love you don't forget that, I love you so much"

And Piper slammed the phone down just as she heard Alex's husky 'Hey' echo into her ear.

* * *

Alex was pissed, furious even and she strode forwards the speed of her pace causing her hair to whip out behind her. She felt as though she was being treated like a common mule and it did not sit well with her. Although she liked the kid she had not signed up for four days of babysitting effectively giving up her freedom as Kubra had now insisted on being informed of their every move. It was beginning to wear thin and she had told Kubra as much when he had arrived to speak with her that morning. She understood the girl's mother had taken a battering but half of her was beginning to suspect the woman was either shirking her motherly duties or something more sinister was going on that she wasn't privy to. Neither option sat well with her and she was beginning to lose control of her temper.

When she had spoken into the phone and only received the dialling tone in reply she had been irritated, even more so when she looked into Ava's confusion filled eyes. None of this was fair especially to the little blonde who didn't really understand the situation she found herself in the middle of. Having already suggested the walk Alex thought it would be a good way to clear both their heads and if she was honest she couldn't take another moment sat in her hotel suite not without destroying something.

Glancing to her right she watched as Ava was practically running to keep up with her long slides and she slowed her pace feeling slightly guilty that the little blonde had obviously made a conscious effort to keep up. Alex passed Ava a hesitant smile and they continued to walk towards their destination that Alex could just begin to see as they neared the border of the park.

"Are you cross?"

Ava peered up at her and Alex decided against telling a lie knowing that it would be too obvious.

"Yes but not with you ok?"

"With my mummy?"

Alex sighed "Not really"

Ava stepped away from her side her head falling downwards her chin practically resting on her chest. Alex could practically feel the frustration threatening to break free from her body her muscles felt tense and her head was aching. She didn't know how to deal with all this not being in the loop was driving her mad and on top of it she now had an upset kid to deal with.

"Ava..."

"No"

"No what? You don't want to listen to me anymore?"

"No"

Alex felt like shouting but she refrained knowing it would only make things ten times worse.

"I thought you were my friend, friends listen to each other"

Ava stayed quiet but she inched closer to her side and Alex knew her words had struck a chord and she was listening although probably reluctantly.

"I just don't really know what the plan is for you or me and it's just making me frustrated which is why I've been cross"

"I wish Kubra would let me go back to mummy" Ava glanced up at her wincing slightly "Not that I don't like staying with you, it's just ... Well I miss her"

Alex ran a hand down Ava's arm comfortingly "I know Kid don't worry I'm not offended and you can still come visit me if you want after you go back if miserable Kubra allows it"

Ava snorted "He's always cross and bossy now I don't think I like him anymore"

Alex wholeheartedly agreed "He's being terrible at the moment I hope whatever it is that is bothering him sorts itself out because I'm fed up with his attitude"

"Kubra was always smiley now he's always scowling"

Alex laughed until she realised something that she had not noticed before now.

"You've stopped calling him uncle"

Ava just shrugged and carried on walking.

"Why?"

"Because he was nasty to mummy the night they were going out and... Well... Just because"

They had reached the entrance to the park and Alex had a look around for somewhere they could talk quietly. Things were obviously building up in Ava's head and she wanted to know her thoughts hoping that if they talked she could help ease some of the girls fears. Also rather selfishly she hoped whatever Ava told her might also help her own understanding of this bizarre situation. Looking around Alex spotted an ice cream truck parked near a couple of benches there was no one else about and Alex gestured with her hand while flashing her famous smirk.

"Fancy an ice cream?"

* * *

"I don't think I can do this anymore"

The words were out before she could stop them and Piper froze her entire body tensing knowing there would be repercussions for not holding back that particular statement no matter how truthful it was. She had arrived at Kubra's office fifteen minutes ago and she had been sat fidgeting quietly while he had finished a phone call. In that fifteen minutes her panic and fear had become overwhelming festering under her skin. She was almost healed and the moment she arrived she knew this meeting would be about Kubra sending her back 'to work'. As soon as she realised this thought the all too familiar feeling of dread had crept around her body like a cloak reducing her to a trembling nauseous mess.

"Excuse me?"

Piper flinched at the ice cold tone but she forced herself to meet Kubra's cold stare.

"I'm sorry Kubra I don't think I can continue working for you in my current capacity"

The silence was deafening but Piper held her nerve.

"I have provided Ava and yourself with a home, money, a safe place away from your brute of a fiancé all I've asked in return is that you help me"

He never moved his posture seemed relaxed but Piper could see a muscle twitching in his neck betraying his vision of calm. He had not raised his voice not even a fraction but his anger could clearly be heard. Piper began to shake and she found she couldn't meet his gaze any longer as her eyes darted around wildly as she tried to explain.

"I know and I'm grateful it's just-"

"All you have to do is lie there and provide a warm willing body it's not exactly difficult is it?"

"It's destroying me Kubra I feel as though I'm dying inside"

"You look perfectly well to me. No different to the first time I met your selfish narcissistic self"

His obvious disdain made the tears build and she wrung her hands together, hastily trying to reply as her voice became desperate.

"Please Kubra I want a happy life with my daughter is that really too much to ask?"

"From you yes"

Piper looked at him tearfully she had not understood since she had arrived the obvious contempt that Kubra had for her. She had never been particularly fond of him when she had first met him while she was Alex's girlfriend. She hated his lecherous smile and condescending ways, hated the strain that his business put on her relationship with someone she genuinely loved. He always seemed to dismiss her as though she was Alex's plaything and he belittled their relationship whenever she was alone with him. Piper had held her tongue knowing that it would not do well to cause upset between Alex and her boss. Alex had never known the mutual dislike they held for each other or if she did she had never mentioned it, not to Piper. Now though the original dislike seemed nothing compared to how he looked at her now and she wondered why it had turned to pure disdain, she didn't understand why and she wanted to know.

"What have I ever done to you that's so terrible that you feel no guilt at treating me like this?"

Kubra snorted staring at her as though trying to decide whether to entertain her question. In the end his face relaxed slightly even though the look of loathing remained.

"Did you know when you left Alex she turned to heroin to cope with her devastation over your breakup?"

Piper shook her head her blood running cold at the thought "No..."

If anybody else would have spoken those words she would have snorted incredulously and told them they were wrong. Alex always laughed off Piper's guilt over what she did as a living saying if you were stupid enough to take drugs you deserved to pay the consequences. Never once would Piper have ever thought that Alex would turn to using for any reason.

"You left her the day her mother died, she lost the two people she held most dear in the same day. My efficient money making machine reduced to some pathetic junkie. Sometimes I'm surprised she survived that intense combination of grief and narcotics at all"

Piper didn't reply her self loathing over that day raising its ugly head. She had been young, naive and stupid and if she had known then what she knew now she never would have left, not the way she did at the very least.

"I almost lost the person most dear to my business through your selfishness. You my dear are getting exactly what you deserve. You are a selfish worthless human being and I despise the very sight of you"

Fire burned in Piper at his words her earlier self loathing being beaten momentarily into submission. She was a lot of terrible things she wouldn't deny it but she certainly wasn't worthless. If she was she would accept this life without complaint but she knew she wasn't. She had given birth to the most precious human being Ava gave her purpose and she was determined to fight, if not for herself for her daughter, she was worth something to Ava and that thought brought with it confidence.

"You can't keep me here, you have no right I do not belong to you"

Piper stood abruptly and turned intent on returning to her suite and packing her belongings she wasn't staying here anymore. She would risk it alone with Ava and fight for their happiness by herself, she would not allow this man to dictate her life any longer. Kubra was no better than Larry and she would not be any mans doormat any longer.

Before she could even reach the door however her power was snatched away as quickly as it had made an appearance. Kubra's hand wrapped around her hair and he pulled her sharply backwards hurling her into the coffee table as he did. Her ribs collided with the glass top and Piper cried out in agony as her newly healed ribs flared with red hot pain.

"Piper, Piper, Piper see what you have made me do"

Kubra advanced upon her, his face smirking his hands slowly rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. Powerless to fight back she struggled against the burning pain in her side trying to scramble up from the floor but it was futile. His strong hands came to rest around her neck and he tightened his grip as he slammed her body into the floor once then twice. Piper looked into cold dead eyes and for once she felt almost paralysed with fear at what the man above her was going to inflict.

"I have been kind to you when I should have left you on the street like the common dog you are and yet you treat my kindness with contempt"

Kubra kept one hand around her neck and his smile became maniacal as he let his gaze roam her body his leering obvious causing her stomach to churn.

"Such a pretty thing, I always wanted you from the moment Alex first brought you to meet me. But I held back, for Alex, after she told me she thought you were different I didn't have it in me to taste you myself"

Kubra reaching down with his other hand slowly began to unzip his trousers while forcing her legs apart with his knees.

"But now Piper you are no longer Alex's and you are trying to defy me. Beating you does not seem to be getting my message into your thick skull so maybe this will break you into submission"

Piper tried to claw at the hand around her throat but it was futile he slapped once, twice around the face and she stared at him tears streaming down her face her throat thick with fear.

"Please ... Kubra ... Please no"

"Now don't cry, I tried to help you remember that"

Piper realising she could not break free spat at the monster that was sneering down at her. She knew it would only anger him more but she knew now she had no chance of escape.

"You disgusting bitch once I'm finished with you my dear you will wish you had never opened that pretty little mouth"

Kubra slammed her body into the floor once more caused the breath to leave her lungs and her vision to blur as she gasped for air. Her body truly winded she barely registered that he had removed her jeans and was now lying on top of her until he whispered into her ear.

"Nobody will ever want poor Piper Chapman, not Larry, not Alex and soon Ava will not want her pathetic mother either. I am going to destroy you Piper and you will be left with nothing you insolent whore"

 **A.N I know, I know please don't hate me too much ... happiness comes to those who wait :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N Phew ... reading all of your reviews for chapter 8 was a blessed relief let me tell you and overwhelming (in the best way possible). I was rather nervous about posting that last chapter and understandably so some of you have not been happy about Kubra and his personal attack on poor Piper. But I'm also pleased to hear that many of you are still enjoying my story and I'm glad that no one has threatened either bodily harm or expressed the desire to not continue reading. For that I'm both relieved and grateful you are sticking with me and my angst ridden storytelling.**

 **(To the guest reviewer who posted twice and gave me the longest comment I think I have ever received a huge thank you and I'm supremely glad you are enjoying the story so far!)**

 **And now as I hope you are all patiently waiting I will stop my not so interesting thoughts and continue ...**

* * *

"Ok so now you've got the biggest ice cream ever are you going to tell me the real reason you won't call Kubra uncle anymore"

Alex had decided to just ask her question outright hoping it would make this discussion easier she had never been good at beating around the bush she had always confronted any situation head on. Ava did not reply and Alex sighed but made sure not to look too disgruntled knowing that it would not help the situation.

"Do you want to ask me a question first?"

Ava nodded and turned to look at Alex eagerly "I don't understand why Kubra would tell mummy she couldn't speak to you"

Alex raised an eyebrow "Is that what your mum said?"

Ava nodded "She got all upset and was talking real fast but why would Kubra stop you two from talking it doesn't make any sense"

Alex whole heartedly agreed it made no sense whatsoever to her either but for now she was going to carry on trying to glean information.

"Kubra can seem strange sometimes he can be very secretive even if he doesn't mean to be" Alex rolled her eyes and nudged Ava's shoulder "He's just weird like that"

Ava giggled softly before she leant her head on Alex's arm and let out a big sigh.

"Kubra was really nice to me when we first came here he played games and told me stories but now he never seems to have time for me and I think mummy's scared of him"

"What makes you think that?"

"Because mummy acts like she did when we used to live with daddy. I've heard her crying when she thinks I'm not listening and sometimes when she thinks I'm not looking she looks really sad. I asked her if it was because she missed daddy and she told me no and I asked her if it was because of her being hurt and she said no. I asked her if it was her new job that makes her sad and she said no again but this time I think she was lying"

Alex, knowing exactly what Kubra was employing the woman to do, knew why she would be struggling in this life she now found herself in.

Kubra's justifications did not sit well with Alex but she also knew Kubra did not do favours and he certainly did not provide help without seeking reward.

"Kubra is mummy's boss so it's his job that makes her sad which means it's his fault"

Alex opened her mouth to retaliate not harshly for she did not want to upset Ava but she wanted to explain that Ava's beloved mummy had known what she was signing up for. Before she could begin to try and explain Ava continued to talk this time her voice becoming strained.

"He also promised that we would be safe at the hotel that's what mummy keeps saying but then mummy got hurt twice by bad men"

Ava's breath hitched slightly and Alex squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

"That means Kubra has broken his promise and I'm not calling him uncle while it's his fault mummy was hurt"

Alex found she didn't know how to respond to that particular statement. She could completely understand Ava's logic and she found herself unable to argue in Kubra's favour. Luckily she was spared from answering when Ava asked another question.

"Does working for Kubra upset you?"

Alex shook her head "I do a different type of work to what your mum does like I've said before it offers me more freedom"

"I just want mummy to be happy"

Alex wrapped an arm around small shoulders and squeezed tightly "I know Kid but I'm sure she's happier at the hotel with Kubra than back at your old home with your dad"

Ava smiled although it was strained and Alex decided to change the topic of conversation from Kubra and the business.

"So what's she like your mum?"

Ava's face brightened and Alex was pleased to see her more relaxed and open to her gentle questioning.

"She's pretty and kind and clever, she loves books almost as much as me!"

Alex chuckled "Sounds like me and your mum would get on well"

Ava nodded "I think if you knew her you would be friends"

"So do you look like your mum or your dad?"

"Just like mummy we have the same hair and the same eyes just like you and your mummy!"

Alex almost laughed blonde hair and blue eyes Alex's perfect combination in a woman. She did not share this tit bit of information with Ava though who was looking at her closely.

"My daddy has dark hair and dark brown eyes I'm not like him at all"

Alex could understand why Ava said this statement so fiercely she to at one point had tried to deny that she was like her sperm doner in any away not wanting to think of any way she could possibly be like the man who abandoned her mother.

"I'm really glad we don't live with him anymore. I won't have to see him again will I Alex?"

Alex squirmed she did not want to make a promise that she couldn't guarantee but she also didn't want to add to Ava's worries.

"Well you won't be seeing him anytime soon I won't let that happen while you're with me"

Ava beamed and hugged her hard almost squashing her ice cream in between them.

"I'm so glad I met you Alex"

"I'm glad I met you too"

"Will you always be my friend?"

Earnest wide eyes looked up at her own and Alex didn't have the heart to explain that always couldn't last forever. Instead she smiled and nodded before ruffling blonde hair affectionately.

"I think I can manage that. Now come on finish that ice cream and then we'll go and visit these swings!"

* * *

Piper struggled with the door to her suite her body, sluggish with pain, was struggling to respond to even basic requests. Her hands shook as she placed her key into the lock and as the door clicked open she stumbled falling across the threshold her knees thudding into the floor. Her body throbbed with pain, her head pounding and between her legs felt like it was on fire. Kubra had not held back after he had forced himself on her he had beaten her with his fists over and over until Piper was certain she could take no more. Just as she had begun to give in to the pull of unconsciousness, not having the will or inclination to prolong her suffering, he had stopped informing her that she was to leave for her room immediately and he would be in touch with regards to her continued employment. Piper knew he would not be returning to deal with her tonight and she was supremely grateful that at least for the next twelve hours she would be alone.

Wincing she half crawled half dragged her limp body into the bedroom each forced movement causing her head to throb. After realising there was no way she could hoist herself up on to the bed she grabbed at the duvet, pulling it to floor and wrapped it around her shaking body as best she could. No more tears were shed she was certain she could produce no more instead she battled with the fact that Kubra had raped and abused her, the sentence flashing in her mind over and over she tried not to wretch knowing it would be excruciating for her bruised stomach muscles. The shaking though would not stop and Piper knew that she had no semblance of control while her body was still in shock.

Closing her eyes she prayed for sleep willing her broken body to seek relief in dark and dreamless slumber. It would not come exhaustion was prickling the edge of her mind but sleep was not coming easily so she gave up and tried to think of happy thoughts. Ava. Ava telling her about Alex, Ava who was so happy that they were no longer living with Larry, Ava who would do anything to try and look after her beloved mummy. Her heart ached for her blonde haired beauty but her head won out hoping against hope that Ava would remain with Alex safe and blissfully ignorant of the latest harm that had befallen her pathetic mother. Alex would look after her, protect her Piper was sure of it her ex-girlfriend for all her confidence and swagger had the biggest heart and she hoped it had taken Ava into its hold. Piper smiled easily for the first time in hours picturing the pair together in all their wondrous glory her blonde angel and her dark haired beauty. Piper wished that she could be part of that picture but her brain snidely reminded her that Ava might be her angel but Alex was not her beauty and she had no one to blame but herself.

Sniffing harshly Piper winced when it sharply reminded her of her busted nose and she raised a still shaking hand to wipe the blood away from her top lip. She knew she needed to clean herself up but right now she knew she had neither the energy or the inclination to move from the cocoon of covers she had wrapped around herself. Her exhausted mind was now in tatters this latest ordeal fragmenting, mixing with her previous struggles, all merging into one bleak mass of unhappiness. She could now barely comprehend what had happened and she found she was almost pleased for it. However it did not mean that the weight of her abuse was any easier to deal with the emotions bubbling away causing her to pray for release in any form. Reaching a hand up to her bedside table she grasped blindly until she found the remote to her docking station. Pressing play she tried to lose herself in the music intent on shutting out the world around her, her devastated mind needing a reprieve from reality while it tried to piece the broken shards of her sanity back together.

* * *

"Can I see mummy on the way back?"

Alex frowned slightly Kubra hadn't said that Ava couldn't visit her mum but he was usually the one who came to pick her up and drop her off insisting that Alex was not to become involved with the mother. It irritated her but she did as she was told not wanting to cause anymore tension. Reaching into her jacket she pulled out her phone frowning when she noticed the black screen and she realised her phone was out of battery.

"Please Alex? I have a key you can just drop me off at the door then I don't have to wait for Kubra"

Earnest little eyes looked up at her and she sighed before nodding if she didn't go in surely that wasn't breaking any of Kubra's rules.

"Cool you're the best Alex!"

They laughed and joked all the way back to the hotel Alex feeling a lot less stressed after the fresh air and being away from the hotel. Once they were in the hotel lift Alex gestured to the control panel.

"Come on then I don't know were your room is"

Ava pressed number three and the lift roared into life. Stepping out into the corridor Alex followed Ava down the hall until they reached the door numbered thirteen. Lucky for some unlucky for most.

"I can hear mummy's music"

So could Alex in fact she was fairly certain the whole corridor could and it pissed her off. To Alex it seemed like another sign that Ava's mum just couldn't be bothered looking after her sweet little girl who Alex was becoming quite attached to.

"Listen I'm going to go back to my place I'll tell Kubra you're here and I'll see you later ok?"

Ava nodded and wrapped her arms around Alex's middle in a tight hug.

"See you soon!"

Alex smiled and waited until the blonde had opened the door before she started to make her way back down the corridor. Just as she reached the lift she turned slightly when she heard a muffled shout. Curious she turned her head fully just in time to see the door to Ava's home snap open.

"Alex! Alex help me!"

Ava came running out into the corridor tears already running down her face her eyes wide open in fear. Alex ran back down the corridor and grabbed Ava by the shoulders crouching down to look into terrified blue eyes.

"What is it Ava?"

"M,M,Mummy"

Ava stuttered through sobs her breath catching as the tears streamed down her cheeks.

"What's the matter?"

Reluctant to go inside unless absolutely necessary Alex tried to keep her voice calm needing Ava to tell her what had happened that had her so upset.

"She's hurt Alex please help me"

Alex stood quickly and took Ava's hand tightly in her own. Making her way into the suite she was taken aback by how homely the place felt and it stopped her in her tracks catching her off guard. The place was clean and tidy obviously well looked after and pictures drawn by Ava adorned every surface. There was a photograph of Ava as a baby and Alex smiled she was just as cute then as she was now. The generic hotel suite had been made into a proper home and once again Alex felt uncomfortable at how Kubra was treating this woman when it was obvious she was trying so hard to provide her daughter with a stable life. A book was resting on the arm of the couch in the living area and Alex's heart skipped a beat when she saw the title 'Alice in Wonderland'. It had been Piper's favourite book when they were together and she always used to joke that Piper was Alice and their adventures were as if she had tumbled down the rabbit hole. Piper always laughed pressing a loving kiss to her lips and said if that was the case then she never wanted to wake up in case it was all a dream. Staring at the book a funny sensation ran over her causing Alex to shiver. Diane always used to say the sensation was someone stepping on your grave it had always made her laugh as a child but now she felt a great sense of unease. It was compelling and she stepped forward shaking her hand free from Ava's grasp the reason why she was here at all falling away into the background.

"Alex!"

"Just a minute..."

Alex reached out and ran a finger down the front cover before she picked up holding the book almost reverently in her hand.

"That's mummy's favourite"

Alex turned to look at Ava and she felt almost sick. With the vivid image of Piper so clear in her mind Ava could be Piper's mini me and she could feel panic and turmoil threatening to break across her skin. Ava scrunched up her nose and worried at her bottom lip and almost immediately a corresponding memory of Piper doing the exact same expression flashed across her eyes.

"Can we help mummy now Alex?"

"Ava I need you to answer me a question ok?"

"But mummy-"

"Ava please!"

Alex did not mean to shout but she couldn't help it her body taught with nerves and stress. Ava nodded fearfully her eyes darting from Alex to the bedroom door frantically her teeth almost threatening to break the skin on her lip.

"What's your mummy's name?"

Before Ava could answer the music suddenly came to an end and a low whimpering echoed into the room. Turning her fearful gaze back to the bedroom Ava shot forward ignoring Alex's question and Alex almost felt frozen her limbs refusing to cooperate as her mind was jumping to conclusions. Forcing her heavy limbs to move she walked slowly forward when she reached the half open door she swallowed hard peering through the gap.

She could just see Ava's small form crouched on the floor next to a body wrapped in a duvet on the floor. From were she was standing the woman's face was obscured but she couldn't make herself move to get a clearer look. Instead with fear and adrenaline threatening to cripple her usual calm and rational self she listened hard as Ava whimpered.

"Mummy, mummy are you ok?"

"Shhh darlin' ... it's 'k mummy's goin' to be fine"

White noise rang in Alex's ears as her heart lurched and her brain went into overdrive. She knew that voice it was one she hadn't heard in over 10 years but she would recognise it instantly even when slurred in obvious pain. Opening the door blindly she stood in the threshold as her eyes tried to prove what her brain was already desperately trying to process.

"Mummy..."

As Alex took in the sight of Piper's beaten face her heart lurched beating wildly in her chest and her eyes locked onto Ava's worried gaze.

"No..."

"Alex?"

Taking a step back she ignored Ava's call of her name and ran blindly through the living room her shaking hands grasping at the lock of the door. Barrelling out into the corridor she fell against the wall clenching her eyes tightly shut as she struggled to comprehend exactly what she had just seen.

"Alex?"

Ava's voice grew louder and Alex panicked. Quickly she rushed down the corridor to the lift pushing the button repeatedly trying to force the doors to open quicker than they were. Engrossed in her task she didn't notice that Ava had caught up with her and she flinched harshly when she felt a small hand rest on her own.

"Alex where are you going?"

Shaking her head Alex tore her gaze from small tear stained cheeks as the lift doors opened and she made to step forward but the hand gripping her arm didn't move.

"Ava let go"

She couldn't deal with this she couldn't understand all she knew was that Piper was here, the love of her life, the one who broke her heart all those years ago and left her behind without so much as a backwards glance.

"But I need your help"

The emotion in her chest reached new heights threatening her entire being and she wrenched her hand free from the small blonde sending her stumbling backwards before she swiftly stepped into the lift shaking her head as she did.

"I can't, I'm sorry, I just can't"

"But you said you were my friend"

The doors slid closed and Alex felt bile rising in her throat as the image of Ava's devastated little face burned in her eyes. As soon as the lift reached the ground floor she burst through the doors and almost ran out onto the street. Taking in a large gulp of fresh air she turned to the side of the pavement and vomited hard her stomach trying to expel the turmoil she felt within. Heaving and gasping she raised a hand to face surprised to find that her cheeks were wet with tears that she couldn't remember shedding.

"Hey are you alright?"

Alex nodded hurriedly to the well meaning passerby as she pulled her leather jacket around herself firmly before setting off striding down the street. She needed to get away from here while she dealt with the carnage that was running rampant through her mind and she found herself almost running towards the safe haven of her flat as her thoughts threatened to spiral out of control.


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N I'm grinning like the Cheshire Cat right now (seriously my house mate keeps looking at me like I've lost my marbles) after re reading all the reviews for the previous chapter. Thank you ever so much!**

 **Life's getting busy at the minute but I'm trying to update as soon as I can!**

* * *

When Piper awoke she became aware instantly that she was not alone and she breathed a soft sigh of relief. Ava was sat not even an inch away from her face staring at her with such a look of fear across her features that Piper felt her chest ache with the intensity. She could not remember blacking out, only vaguely remember Ava calling her name, but she clearly see the drying tear tracks on her daughter's cheeks and she wondered how long Ava had been sat waiting for her to wake up. Now that she was awake she did a mental check of her injuries and she was pleased to note that she did not feel any worse than before. She could not afford a trip to the hospital knowing that she would not be able to handle the scrutiny that she would come under. Ava fidgeted at the side of her and Piper tried to speak clearly through her swollen lip.

"I'm alright darling"

Piper smiled hesitantly but Ava's expression never changed. A small hand ran carefully down her cheek and Piper struggled not to flinch.

"Someone hurt you"

It was a statement not a question and Piper nodded knowing that it would be futile trying to think up an elaborate lie. It used to work when Ava was younger but not anymore.

"They did but I'm going to be ok. Do you want to come with me while I get cleaned up?"

Ava nodded and Piper was grateful for the hand that wrapped tightly around her arm as she struggled to get up from the floor. Her back was aching from being inactive for so long but also her ribs and stomach muscles were protesting from the beating they had received. With her head spinning she craved the relief that only morphine would bring and she prayed that she still had some of the drug stashed away in the bathroom cabinet.

Slowly she made her way to the bathroom Ava following dutifully by her side her hand never leaving her arm. Her body shook and shuddered the tremors from the night before had not lessened in intensity and it was making it difficult for her body to support her weight. As they approached the bathroom door Ava darted forward closing the toilet lid shut and she grabbed a towel placing it over the top.

"Sit here"

Piper sat down sluggishly watching with a heavy heart as Ava filled the sink with warm water and took a clean flannel from the little cupboard under the sink.

"Can you pass me my painkillers?"

Piper let out a sigh of relief as Ava quickly found the morphine and she took one not wanting to become sleepy but hoping that the drug would begin to work as quickly as possible. Making sure to drain the glass of cold water she instantly felt better her dry throat easing the pounding in her head dulling to a more bearable, although persistent, sickly throbbing sensation. She knew she most likely had a concussion but she was now almost an expert at how to deal with the symptoms and the thought made her already fraught mind even more despondent.

Ava picked the flannel up placed it in the water then squeezed it between her hands wringing out the excess water. Her daughters little face creased with concentration as she brought the flannel up to her face and Piper tried not to wince as she pressed the wet cloth gently to her split lip. Ava continued to wipe away the blood carefully and Piper's heart bled for her daughter. At 8 years old Ava already had spent too many years patching up her useless mother and it pained Piper more than she could ever explain.

"Ava I can do it sweetheart"

Piper took small hands into her own and carefully prised the flannel from her daughter's grip her face creasing as tears built in Ava's eyes and began to fall.

"We're not safe here are we?"

"You are safe here nobody will hurt you I can promise you that"

Ava shook her head the tears still falling and Piper sighed as she pulled her weeping daughter into her arms cuddling her as close to her body as she could, ignoring the pain in her side the action caused.

"You are safe darling, you are"

"But it hurts me mummy when they hurt you"

Piper felt her heart clench and she buried her nose into Ava's hair as her own tears began to fall at the heartfelt admission from her daughter. How many minutes they sat there entwined Piper did not know all she knew was Ava seemed to need the contact just as much as she did and she was grateful.

"I don't want to stay here anymore"

Piper pressed a final kiss to Ava's head before she pulled back so identical blue eyes could lock together.

"We have to stay here for now darling while mummy saves enough money so that we can get a place of our own"

"But I don't want to"

The next words pained Piper to say after what she had suffered that morning but she needed Ava to be complacent she could not afford anymore trouble.

"But what about Uncle Kubra?"

Ava scowled and shook her head "He promised we were safe and he broke that promise mummy I don't like him anymore"

Piper tried desperately to think of another solution and as her thoughts turned to another she again forced the words from her throat although this time they were painful for another reason.

"Well then what about Alex? You like Alex and I'm sure she would miss you if you weren't here anymore"

Ava's face froze for a moment before she began to worry her lip between her teeth and Piper began to wonder.

"What is it poppet?"

Ava shook her head and Piper felt her curiosity rise since meeting Alex Ava had done nothing but talk about her, how cool and wonderful she was. The new friend who also liked Roald Dahl stories and hot chocolate, who was all grown up but was her friend because she listened to her and answered all her questions even though she asked a lot. For Ava to now be so quiet when asked about Alex made Piper think something had happened and she wanted to get to the bottom of it.

"Ava..."

"I just want to leave here mummy and Alex's works here so that means I don't want to stay with Alex anymore"

If ever a none answer had been given by an eight year old that was it and Piper frowned suspicious that her daughter was keeping secrets.

"But Alex is your friend, that's what you told me"

Ava's head dropped to her chest avoiding eye contact gently Piper grasped her daughter's chin with her fingers and raised her head.

"Is Alex not your friend anymore?"

Ava shrugged and tears built once more in those beautiful blue eyes and Piper wiped at them gently with her fingertips.

"Where you naughty?"

Ava shook her head vehemently her little hands clenching into tight fists at the question and Piper realised she was asking the wrong thing.

"Did she upset you?"

Ava nodded slowly and Piper felt anger flare up deep within her stomach. Love of her life or not no one upset Ava without Piper's protective urge rising in her chest. She was like a lioness when it came to her daughter no one upset Ava without good reason and got away with it.

"What did she say?"

Ava went quiet for a few minutes the tears beginning to slowly disappear as she seemed to be in deep thought.

"I think all adults just lie mummy and I don't want to be their friends anymore, Kubra or Alex's, I just want to stay here with you now"

Piper went to open her mouth but then closed it knowing that whatever had happened between Alex and Ava, Ava didn't want to talk about it. She wondered whether it was a broken promise that had led to Ava being so upset and she could understand if that had been the case. Kubra was keeping his secrets and Piper guessed that Alex still did not know her identity for she imagined if she did there was no way her ex girlfriend would have continued to look after her daughter.

"Now mummy shall I run you a bath?"

Piper pretended to think hard "Will there be plenty of bubbles?"

Ava started to giggle and she grabbed the bottle of bubble bath out of the cupboard and held it up in front of her.

"Loads!"

"Well then how can I say no to that?"

* * *

Alex reached around blindly her fingers searching eagerly until they reached their goal her fingers wrapping around the cold glass of the whiskey bottle she was so desperately trying to drown herself in. Her mind was in tatters and she had unscrewed the cap of the whiskey bottle the moment she had stepped into her kitchen. Sliding down the kitchen work top she had stayed sprawled out on the cold tiled floor praying that she would soon wake up and this had all been a terrible dream. Letting her head fall back Alex winced when it made contact with the wood and she sighed heavily this was not a nightmare.

She had been lied to, Kubra, Aydin they knew who Piper was, knew that she had been Alex's Achilles heel the one she had fallen desperately in love with and Kubra had turned her into a whore. It sickened her to the very core and her body shook with rage and loathing at the image of Piper's poor beaten body. She felt thoroughly played she had taken on Piper's daughter, little Ava had looked up to her, treated her like a friend and Kubra had knowingly let their relationship build all the time knowing who she was, who she belonged to. Alex let the tears fall rapidly no longer holding back the sobs that felt as though they were choking her with their intensity. She had loved Piper, loved Piper with every part of her and deep down she had thought she was the only one for her. Even after 10 years apart she still missed the enigmatic blonde, wished that things had turned out differently that she had never asked her to carry that bag of drug money on that fateful trip to Brussels. Now she didn't know what to think or how to act the things that she now knew Piper had been subjected to made her heart ache and her stomach clench in horror. It had been Piper who was escaping the abusive ex doing anything she could to protect her only child and she hated Kubra, hated him with every fibre of her being for allowing Piper to hand over her body like a common whore. Piper was beautiful and intelligent her English graduate who had read everything, could capture Alex's attention instantly with her ferocious urge to learn. It had been a winning combination of intelligence and beauty and it sickened her that her gorgeous blonde had been reduced to whoring herself for a man who had allowed her to just to protect her only daughter.

Alex had panicked when she had seen Piper lying on that floor her beautiful face bloodied and bruised and now the sickness grew as her own self loathing began to build. She had left Piper there to suffer with her injuries and left Ava, who was only eight years old, to clean up her mother after she made a promise to herself that she would help her however she could. Ava would now hate her, be hurt and upset not understanding why Alex had bailed on her when she had needed her the most. Tangling her hands into her hair Alex began to rock silently trying to ease the turmoil that was threatening to consume her. The urge to use had not been present in her mind for a long time but right now Alex craved the release that she knew heroin would bring her and part of her was glad that she didn't have any of the toxic drug in her possession as she was fairly certain she wouldn't be able to fight the urge. Her phone, now charged, lit up at the side of her the screen glowing in the shadows and she ignored it knowing exactly who it would be. She had no desire to speak to Kubra, didn't want to hear anymore lies being spouted from his traitorous lips. She had done everything for that man, had considered herself his equal, his friend. Everything she had done had always been for the good of his business never once had she disobeyed or given him cause for displeasure apart from the short time she had gone off the rails with grief.

But with rehab she had cleaned herself up, got back on track and when she returned built his business up once more. His repayment had been to seek revenge on the one person who still meant a great deal to her and right now she couldn't bear to even think of him. Her phone chimed indicating a voicemail and Alex reached for the device swiftly turning it off before she brought the bottle to her lips once more attempting to drink her way into oblivion so that she didn't have to think anymore.

* * *

Piper could hear muffled voices coming from the living room but with the noise coming from the bathroom extractor fan she couldn't hear the words clearly. From the tone of voice she knew it was Kubra Ava was talking to and her body began to shake with fear and she prayed that he wasn't waiting to speak with her. She wasn't certain she could put on the Oscar winning performance in front of Ava.

"So you do not know were she has gone?"

Piper edged closer the door pressing her ear against the wood so that she could hear more clearly.

"No she didn't say"

Piper guessed they were talking about Alex and she found it strange that Kubra was asking Ava about Alex's whereabouts when Kubra always made it his point to know exactly were his favourite employee was at all times when she was working. It was a trait that had infuriated Piper back when she and Alex had been in a relationship.

"Did she bring you here?"

Ava must have nodded as Piper didn't hear a response but she did hear Kubra's answering question his tone panicked.

"Did she come in?!"

"No she dropped me off at the door I used my own key"

Piper let out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding relieved that the secret of her existence here at the cartel remained intact and Alex was still none the wiser.

"You were supposed to wait for me"

"I wanted to see mummy"

Ava's defiance almost made Piper chuckle her daughter was so much like she was as a child sometimes their resemblance not just in looks was uncanny.

"Well next time you need to do as you are told"

Kubra's tone was sharp and Piper winced hoping that he did not retaliate to Ava's cheekiness.

"I want to stay here with mummy now. She isn't safe and I don't like it that she keeps getting hurt when I'm not here"

Piper held her breath but Kubra just chuckled "If your mother learnt to behave herself then she wouldn't get into trouble. That's a lesson you should take notice of young Ava if you do as I say I can keep you safe"

Ava didn't reply and Piper was grateful that her daughter was holding her tongue.

"Well I must find Alex I will speak with you in a couple of days say Hello to your mummy for me and Ava make sure you eat the meal I have procured for you"

Once she heard the door to the suite close Piper let out a heavy breath and pulled her dressing gown around herself carefully. She had pulled on her loosest clothing a pair of sweat pants and an old Metallica t shirt that once belonged to Alex. She had found it when she had finally got around to emptying her suitcase when she had left Alex in Paris and she could not bring herself to throw out the t-shirt she had found nestled between her own.

"You look better now you're all clean mummy"

Piper smiled softly and she settled herself into the soft couch cushions patting the space next to her gesturing to Ava to come for a cuddle.

"Was that Uncle Kubra?"

"He isn't my uncle"

Piper tried to hide the shock from her face and she forced herself to continue past her surprise.

"What did Kubra want?"

Ava looked at her hesitantly and Piper smiled encouragingly.

"He can't find Alex and he brought us a pizza"

Piper knowing she couldn't even stomach the sight of food concentrated on the other statement replying to Ava's weary tone.

"I'm sure she's fine if that's what's worrying you"

Ava snuggled closer into her side and Piper ran a hand through silken locks soothingly.

"Are you cold?"

Piper shook her head and Ava looked at her confused.

"But you're shaking"

Piper cursed her own body Ava was right her muscles where still twitching with spasms her hands in particular visibly shaking. Piper didn't know how to answer so instead she went with the art of distraction.

"Shall I read you a story?"

Ava sat up nodding excitedly and Piper chuckled glad to see her daughter smiling. She knew reading would not help the headache she was already struggling with but she wanted Ava to know that everything was alright even if at the moment Piper wasn't certain it ever would be again.

"Go and pick one then"

Ava scrambled into the bedroom running like the wind and Piper shook her head, her daughter was a hurricane.

Slowly Piper made her way into the kitchen although the pain between her legs had eased there was a permanent dull ache that made itself known every time she moved and she struggled to walk without a hunch. After making two hot chocolates as quickly as shaking hands would allow Piper took two slices of the pizza, placing them on a small plate for Ava and slowly carried the drinks and food to the couch placing them on the coffee table.

"Ava have you picked one?"

Piper continued to wait patiently but Ava still did not appear. Piper was just about to shout again when Ava appeared in the doorway her face sullen.

"I've left my books at Alex's"

Piper looked around the room quickly and when she spotted Ava's bag she pointed quickly "Well we'll read your new one that Alex got you I haven't seen it yet"

Ava looked at her warily but she slowly took the book out of the bag holding it at arms length.

"Come on, come sit with me you told me you love this one and I haven't even read it yet"

Ava still did not look even remotely enthusiastic and Piper frowned before she opened her arms. Once Ava was firmly settled against her Piper began to speak softly hoping her words would bring her daughter some comfort.

"Whatever Alex said to you that has made you not friends I'm sure she didn't mean it. Alex is a good person she wouldn't ever want to hurt you and I'm sure if she knew she had made you sad it would make her sad too"

Ava didn't speak but Piper knew she was listening and she placed a gentle kiss to her crown.

"Alex pretends she's tough but really she's a big softie and she's been so kind to you I'm sure that she's still your friend no matter what's happened between you"

Piper continued to stroke a hand up and down her daughter's back until she was almost certain that Ava had fallen asleep she had been quiet for so long. It therefore took Piper by surprise when Ava sat up her eyes wide and curious staring into her own.

"How do you know Alex is a good person?"

Piper kept her face neutral when in reality her heart was beating wildly she knew she shouldn't have kept talking it was becoming harder to separate her memories of Alex with the reality of their situation now.

"Kubra told me"

"But you talk like you know her"

Piper didn't answer but Ava continued and this time it was with a definitive question.

"Mummy do you know Alex?"

Before Piper could even begin to panic there was the sound of stumbling from outside their suite and Piper felt her stomach twist with fright her body feeling as though it had been doused in cold water.

"Mummy?"

Ava looked at her worriedly and Piper struggled to swallow the lump down that had built in her throat. A slow knock rang out into the room and Piper still couldn't bring herself to move. As the knocking continued becoming louder and more forceful the fear began to overwhelm her, the shaking in her extremities increasing and Piper stood up slowly keeping Ava's hand tightly in her own.

"Ava? Ava open the door"

Alex's husky tones were muffled but Piper could clearly hear the anguish in her voice. Piper turned to look at Ava who's gaze was fixed on the closed door her lip firmly between her teeth and Piper realised they could be each other's mirror image for she was doing the exact same thing.

"Ava! Ava please open the door I need to speak to you!"

The banging increased and Piper shuddered slightly her fear returning but for different reasons. Ava looked at her the uncertainty clear across her face and Piper spoke softly.

"Listen sweetie if you want to speak with Alex then you can let her in but I can't be here when you do ok? I'm not allowed to see Alex Kubra made me promise and I need to do as he asks ok?"

"Please open the door Ava!"

Piper was trying not to ramble but with the fear of Kubra threatening to break free she was struggling to contain her nerves.

"I'll just be in my room ok? She won't hurt you I know that for a fact. Alex would never hurt anyone"

That last sentence was said with conviction and she watched as something changed in Ava's expression and she nodded moving towards the door. Piper moved as quickly as she could into her room and she shut the door enough to hide her from view but leaving a big enough gap so that she could hear clearly. Piper heard Ava click the lock open and she moved so that she could peak through the gap. As soon as the door opened Piper's heart leapt into her throat as Alex Vause stepped across the threshold and wrapped Ava tightly in her long arms tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry I'm so sorry"


	11. Chapter 11

**A.N First of all let me say a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter at the moment life is a little overwhelming and unfortunately it has been leaving me with little time to so much as sit back and breathe let alone give me chance to actually get my ideas down on "paper". I just want you all to know that I have no intention of abandoning this fic and I will strive to try and completed and upload the next update quicker than this one (fingers crossed).**

 **I hope you enjoy this next installment and as always I would love to hear your thoughts. Once again thank you for your comments so far and your patience while waiting for this chapter.**

* * *

"God Ava I'm so sorry"

Alex didn't care that she looked like a wreck, tears were streaming down her cheeks, her eyeliner and mascara smudged, her eyes red raw but she didn't care about anything other than the little girl she was clutching tightly to her body. It was unlike her to show such weakness to another person but she needed Ava's forgiveness needed her to know how sorry she was for leaving her.

"I panicked and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

When Ava hesitantly responded her arms coming to rest around her middle Alex let out a relieved sigh and sent a silent thanks to whoever had listened to her fears that she had pushed this kid too far. After standing still for a moment Alex pulled back and wiped at her cheeks Ava didn't say a word and Alex took a deep breath trying to calm herself after her outburst.

"I was mad at you"

Alex snorted "I'd be mad at me too. In fact I'd be bloody furious"

Ava just smiled hesitantly and took her hand in her own pulling her further into the apartment.

"Do you want a drink?"

Alex eyed the little blonde curiously and Ava shrugged "It's what my mummy always says when people are upset"

At the mention of Ava's mum panic twisted her insides and Alex forced her tone to remain calm and not panicked.

"Is your mummy alright?"

Ava nodded a small smile gracing her features and Alex felt the knot in her stomach lessen slightly "Yes"

"Are you sure Ava?

"I've cleaned her up she says she's all better now that it looks worse than it is. I ran her a bath and made sure she was all clean"

Alex smiled feeling her heart become instantly lighter some of the worry disappearing, relieved Piper's injuries seemed to be less serious than what she had been imagining.

"That's good Ava really good. Is she here?"

Ava turned to the kitchenette shaking her head slightly as she did so. Alex felt a wave of relief wash over her and she relaxed slightly feeling incredibly grateful that the source of her anguish was not in the nearby vicinity. If Piper had been here Alex would not have been able to concentrate on the reason she had come and at that moment she was here purely to make amends with Ava. If she thought about Piper it was just too much to handle. For her own sanity she needed to deal with one issue at a time and now she knew Piper was alright it was time to concentrate on Ava.

"Could I have some water?"

Ava nodded and busied herself in the kitchen as Alex moved to the couch sitting down gratefully her legs unsteady with the amount of whiskey she had consumed earlier. Her head was pounding causing her to feel nauseated and she hoped the feeling would pass sooner rather than later. Ava cleared her throat and when Alex cracked open one eye she was standing hesitantly in front of her with a glass held in her outstretched hand. Alex took the offered glass gratefully and she drained the contents quickly wanting to clear the fog that seemed to fill her mind. Now that she was here to make amends she didn't want to feel the effects of the alcohol anymore no matter how much her head and heart were struggling to cope with the earlier revelations. Ava filled her glass up again and she gulped the water down although this time she took her time not wanting to make herself sick.

"Wow you were thirsty"

Alex chuckled "I ran all the way here from my apartment I don't think I've run that fast since I was your age"

Ava didn't laugh at her joke she just carried on staring at her curiously and Alex felt uneasy.

"You smell funny"

"I had a whiskey when I got back to my flat"

Alex didn't want to lie but she also was not up to admitting that she had gulped down two thirds of a bottle of scotch knowing that it would not do her any favours.

"I'm not drunk though and I'm not going to do anything horrible or nasty alright?"

Ava nodded and fidgeted in her seat before her expression turned curious.

"Kubra came here before he's looking for you"

Alex snorted "Fuck Kubra I'm pissed off with him"

"Alex..."

"Sorry, language I know, but I'm not speaking to him anytime soon that's for sure"

Ava nodded "I don't want to speak to him either he wasn't very nice"

Alex pulled her phone from her pocket making sure it was still firmly switched to silent.

"You look really awful"

"Thanks Kid"

Ava shrank back at her sarcastic retort and Alex sighed reaching out her hand trying to ignore the pain in her chest when Ava pulled further back away from her touch.

"I'm sorry I let you down"

"You said you were my friend, I told mummy you were really nice but then you left. I don't understand"

Alex ran a hand through her hair and tried to hold back the tears that threatened to start falling once again but she stopped them knowing Ava deserved an explanation without her succumbing to tears. Her heart was screaming just tell the truth but her mind was still wary not wanting to open Pandora's box.

"Before I panicked and I'm sorry I should have been stronger and stayed and helped you. I just got really scared and I needed to get away"

Alex huffed trying to explain was hard, to her it was a justified reaction but to Ava it was a betrayal and Alex was struggling with how to best explain without giving away too much. As she was trying to organise her thoughts Ava stared at her before she spoke her tone filled with disbelief.

"You don't seem like someone who would get scared"

Alex shook her head "I get scared kid, about all sorts of things, just like everyone else"

Ava came closer not quite touching her but so she was knelt on the couch cushion closest to her and Alex turned her head so she could see into bright blue eyes.

"What scares you the most?"

"You want the truth?" Ava nodded "Even though it's stupid and pathetic?"

Ava nodded again firmly her face set in concentration. Alex averted her eyes to the wall in front of her feeling very exposed but also knowing that she needed to regain Ava's trust. If letting someone else know your biggest fear wasn't being trusting she didn't know what was.

"I'm scared that I'm going to grow old and alone with nobody, nobody to love and nobody to be my friend"

"But you have loads of friends" Ava's indignant reply made her laugh although her it was devoid of humour and she turned to face her.

"Yeah who?"

"Kubra, Aydin all the other people at the hotel"

Alex shook her head sadly "They are business associates" Ava looked confused "Work colleagues they're not my friends"

Ava just looked at her curiously and Alex decided to try and explain as a story, in for a penny in for a pound.

"I used to get bullied a lot as a kid"

"I know you told me"

"The other girls were really nasty to me because I was poor. They used to beat the living shit out of me and call me a fucking dog and all sorts of shitty names. I always used to say that when I was older I would be better than them have everything that they ever wanted and make them jealous. And for a while I thought I was I have a nice apartment, lots of money and have travelled the world seeing beautiful places that some can only dream about"

Alex took a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders awkwardly.

"But I still feel exactly the same as back then some days. I'm still alone, I still have no proper friends and now I don't even have my mum anymore"

Tears clouded her vision and they began to fall as Ava moved forwards pressing herself against her side one arm coming to rest across her middle.

"Don't cry Alex I'm still your friend I promise"

Choking down a sob Alex wrapped her arm around little shoulders tightly and tried to stop the tears from falling. Rubbing a hand roughly across her face she gave Ava a small smile who was looking at her with eyes full of understanding.

"Thanks Kid"

* * *

Piper had let her shaking body slide down the wall as quietly as she could not wanting to make any kind of noise that could possibly be heard by the living rooms current two occupants. So far she had managed to successfully stay hidden in the shadows and after Ava's little white lie Alex had not given any indication that she suspected she was here. And this was how Piper needed it to remain no matter how much she wished to she could step out into the room and beg Alex for her forgiveness for leaving her all those years ago Piper knew she could not. If Kubra even so much as suspected that this chance sighting had ever happened Piper knew that she would be the one to face his wrath and she wasn't certain she would survive it for a second time.

From her vantage point she could hear snippets of their conversation and as she heard Alex's tearful apologies she felt relief that Ava seemed to be accepting. Hearing Alex's troubled voice caused her more pain than she thought was possible and Piper struggled to stay quiet. From Alex's apologies Piper guessed what had happened and she found she couldn't blame Alex for running earlier what she couldn't work out was whether Alex had learnt of her identity and that troubled her.

As Ava asked what Alex was scared of Piper held her breath desperate to hear the reply. Piper, like Ava, had always seen Alex as strong and courageous the idea that she felt fear like a normal person seemed laughable for Alex Vause. But as she heard the wavering voice of her ex girlfriend as she confessed she was terrified of being alone Piper's mouth hung open in shock and tears built in her eyes. Struggling against her own traitorous body she dug her fingers into her hands as she fought to remain still when all she truly wanted was to wrap Alex in her arms and tell her she was cared for and anyone would be lucky to call her their friend. Instead she had stayed hidden away just like she had been instructed as though she had never heard the heartfelt confession, the half moon shaped marks on her palms the only physical proof of her anguish.

Piper watched as Ava finally moved forward and wrapped her arms around the tall brunette and Piper felt some of the tension fall away at her daughter's comforting gesture. She wished it was her arms around Alex wished it so hard she felt sick with the intensity but she was glad that Ava could at least provide Alex with some sort of comfort that she obviously needed. They stayed wrapped in their embrace and Piper watched the scene with both affection and envy the combined emotions battling within her warring mind.

* * *

"If you want someone to love you need to find a girlfriend"

Alex started to laugh as Ava pulled back so that she sitting up and began rummaging in the basket that was next to the couch. Once she firmly had the copy of vogue she was looking for clasped in her hand Ava sat back down and flicked through the pages to the models.

"Which one of those do you like?"

Alex laughed harder and Ava looked at her indignant.

"Well I need to know what you like best then I can help you find a girlfriend"

"Kid you're only eight"

"So? I can still help you look. What about this one? She looks nice"

Alex smiled softly giving in to the small girl next to her even though she knew it was futile she appreciated the gesture. Pulling the magazine towards her so she could see more clearly Alex looked where Ava was pointing.

"She's ok but I like her more"

Pointing at the blonde Ava leaned forward so she could see more clearly.

"But she has a very frowny face"

"It's the catwalk pose, look none of them are really smiling"

Ava nodded and continued flicking through the pages pointing out various models to Alex to which she either shrugged or shook her head at. There were too many brunette's and Alex had always been partial to a blonde. She had been most upset when she was dating Sylvie and she had dyed her hair covering the natural golden hue she had when they first met.

"How about that one?"

Alex looked closely at the picture and let out a soft sigh the model immediately making her think of Piper and the first time she laid eyes on her all those years ago as she handed over her resume to the uninterested bartender.

"She's nice"

"So tall, blonde hair and blue eyes"

Alex flinched at Ava's words her thought pattern had led her to Piper and in turn reminded her of the awful truth she had exposed earlier. Sitting with Ava had pushed those thoughts from her mind but now they came rushing back and Alex felt as though she could be sick.

"My mummy's tall with blonde hair and blue eyes"

Ava looked up at her wide eyed and smiling softly it was said in such innocence but the words made Alex's heart hammer against her chest and her stomach churn. If only Ava knew the truth.

"She's pretty too I promise"

Alex smiled at Ava sadly and ran a finger down a small blonde cheek.

"Well that makes sense you're pretty and you said you weren't anything like your dad"

Ava beamed at her words but then her face became more serious and almost on cue her teeth came to worry at her lip. Piper Chapman through and through.

"What is it Kid?"

"Alex if I ask you something do you promise to tell me the truth?"

Alex had an awful feeling that she knew exactly what Ava was going to ask her and she felt helpless to the panic that began to twist deep inside her gut. She didn't want to promise anything but she also didn't want to upset the little blonde not after she had come here to beg for forgiveness, forgiveness that she had been lucky to receive.

"What is it?"

Ava shook her head "No ... you have to promise first. Please Alex now we're friends again please promise me?"

"Alright I promise"

Ava looked at her with her head raised high, her face serious and Alex tried to brace herself.

"My mummy's name is Piper Elizabeth Chapman do you know her?"

Even though she was expecting it the bottom of her stomach still felt as through it had dropped through the floor as Ava asked the question she both dreaded and needed to be asked. Clenching her eyes tightly Alex swallowed hard feeling a lump in her throat at hearing Piper's full name said aloud by someone other than the voice in her own head.

"I did"

Ava stood up abruptly her little face screwed up with irritation.

"I knew it I knew mummy had met you she kept saying she hadn't but I knew she was lying"

"How?"

Ava left out a huff and Alex gestured for her to sit back down, a gesture that went ignored.

"Mummy talks about you she said you were nice, that you wouldn't hurt me, that I should trust you. When I asked she said Kubra had told her those things but I didn't believe her"

Knowing Piper had spoken about her made her heart soar and anger build in equal measures although she couldn't place why her body reacted with anger. She left you that's why idiot, she shouldn't get to talk about you and Alex huffed at her brains snide reminder.

"I asked Kubra too and he wouldn't give me a proper answer"

Alex snorted at that her own anger simmering beneath the surface threatening to break free and she struggled to tamper down the urge to rage about Kubra and what a horrible backstabbing bastard she thought he was.

"Kubra lied to me too he never told me who your mum was either"

Ava moved forwards so that she was standing in front of Alex her hands coming to rest on Alex's crossed knees and she let out a exasperated sigh.

"Why do adults lie all the time?"

Alex shook her head slightly and cupped Ava's cheeks in her hands running the pads of her thumbs onto soft cheeks.

"We lie when we're trying to protect people Kid that's all, we don't lie all the time ok? Well I certainly don't anyway and I bet your mummy doesn't either"

Ava nodded but then she huffed and stamped her feet and Alex raised her eyebrows in confusion.

"But that makes no sense! Why would mummy lie about you who would she be protecting me from?"

"Myself and Kubra"

Alex froze her entire body became as stiff as a board the only sign of movement her eyes as they rapidly searched Ava's face which had turned from irritation to guilt laden in seconds. That voice, that voice that had haunted her dreams and waking thoughts whispered into the room as it cracked with emotion. As though sensing her inner turmoil brewing Ava took a hasty step backwards and Alex shot upwards almost stumbling over her own feet as she turned towards the source of that voice. Alex recoiled back in horror her body thrumming with the sudden urge to leave here and never look back and also the inexplicable desire to pull Piper into her arms and never let go. Blue eyes brimming with tears and anguish met green filled with fear and anger and time felt as though it ceased to exist.

"Hello Alex"


	12. Chapter 12

**A.N Thank you so much for your reviews especially the ones keep asking for more its definitely helped me to find the time to post this chapter. Your encouragement is amazing so thank you very much! Well here it is I hope it meets your expectations as I have had not had a chance to proof read but I thought I best get posting before anything else gets in the way of me uploading ... enjoy!**

* * *

If Piper thought she was going to receive any semblance of a reply she had obviously been sorely mistaken. Alex continued to stare at her like she was a ghost which, Piper mused, in a way she was, a figure of Alex's past appearing within her future and Piper guessed she was in shock. She originally had no intention of revealing herself but as soon as Alex had admitted to Ava that she knew her she had panicked, terrified that Alex would spill all the details from their past. Before she had even had chance to think she had moved as quickly as her sore body had allowed. Now regret was washing over her like a wave Ava was looking between them with increasing confusion and Piper was now at a loss for how to proceed.

"Alex?"

The sound of her name seemed to startle Alex from her wide eyed staring and she started to shake her head from side to side. Ava went to move towards her but Alex stopped her raising her hand in caution and Ava paused her little face filling with hurt.

"Why would I need protecting from you and Kubra mummy?"

Her daughter's pleading eyes met with her own but Piper now realising exactly what she had said in her desperation to stop Alex from revealing their past to her daughter now felt almost trapped by Ava's stare.

"I think I would like to hear that explanation"

Those husky tones settled deep into her bones warming her very soul even though they were filled with confusion and anger. Alex was now pointedly looking anywhere but her and Piper didn't know what to say. She turned to Alex the desperation clear in her expression but Alex just ignored her obvious need for help and Piper sighed.

"Ava can you get ready for bed please?"

Her daughter's face turned stormy and Piper braced herself for the inevitable backlash she was undoubtedly going to receive.

"No mummy please I want to know!"

"Ava..."

Piper reached a hand out to her daughter but it remained empty held out in thin air Ava staring at her defiantly from next to Alex and Piper felt her insides twist.

"Actually I don't think I can do this, I need to fucking leave I'm sorry"

Alex spoke her voice strained and Piper watched as Ava's face fell as she looked up at Alex her face creased with emotion.

"Please don't go"

Alex let out a large sigh as she ran her hand through her hair. Her posture was still tight with stress but Piper could see she was trying to force herself to remain calm for Ava's sake and for that Piper was grateful. Still pointedly ignoring her probing gaze Piper watched Alex as she crouched down in front of Ava her hands coming to rest gently on small shoulders.

"I need to go just for now ok? You and your mummy need to talk and I can't be here for that"

"But why Alex?"

Alex shook her head and then cupped Ava's cheeks with her long fingers.

"Because it will hurt me too much ok?"

Alex's voice cracked over the word hurt and Piper involuntarily took a step forward. Her injuries caused her to stumble slightly and Ava broke free from Alex's grasp rushing to her side and wrapping her arms around her middle steadying her stiff sore body.

"Are you ok mummy?"

Piper nodded and involuntarily she leant against Ava the warmth of her small body seeping into her own and the pain eased ever so slightly.

"See you soon Ava"

Piper's gaze snapped back to Alex and she stretched her hand out trying to stop her from leaving she felt Alex at least deserved an explanation.

"No Alex wait, please? We can-"

"Talk?"

Alex voice was cold and mocking but Piper nodded meekly those green eyes that used to look at her with such love were filled with anguish and anger and Piper flinched under the intensity.

"Well yes"

"No Piper"

Alex turned abruptly and strode towards the door.

"This time you get to watch me walk away see how it feels to be on the other side"

Alex gave her one last that Piper couldn't decipher the conflicting emotions too great before she looked back at Ava who was staring at her with tears building in her eyes.

"I'll be back to see you soon Kid I promise. We're friends don't forget that"

Ava smiled and nodded through her tears and Alex smiled back hesitantly before her gaze locked with Piper's once more the burning intensity returning before she swept from the room the door bouncing in the frame as it shook with the force Alex had used to shut it.

Piper swallowed hard choking down the sob that felt as though it was lodged in her throat. Ava pulled away from her and went and sat on the couch her head downcast her hands twisting together fidgeting and Piper knew she needed to explain.

"Why did you lie mummy?"

Ava's voice was small and meek and Piper shook her head trying to shake some sense into her head on how best to proceed. She felt torn. On the one hand she had already disobeyed Kubra she had come into contact with Alex, the secret was out, Pandora's box well and truly opened. But at the same time how could she explain everything that had happened between herself and Alex to an eight year old so that Ava understood.

Sighing feeling completely wrung out and overwhelmed Piper moved sluggishly to the couch were she leant heavily against the arm.

"Come, come and get in bed with me and I'll try and explain everything"

Ava looked at her with her eyes narrowed and Piper smiled making sure her expression was one of reassurance.

"I promise I'll tell you as best I can but I just really need to lie down"

"Are you hurting?"

Piper nodded and Ava's face relaxed she jumped up from the couch and took Piper's hand gently leading the way to the master bedroom. Once they were settled under the covers, Piper propped up against the many pillows so that her body lay without protest, Ava turned to look at her expectantly.

"So why did you lie mummy?"

The hurt was obvious and it made Piper's heart squeeze but she forced herself not to become upset. It they were having this conversation she needed to remain calm otherwise Piper didn't think she would be able to start, let alone finish, the tale Ava needed to hear.

"Because Kubra asked me to. I promised him and it wasn't worth me breaking that promise"

Ava looked at her with wide eyes and she leaned forward so that she could whisper into her ear quietly.

"Will you get into trouble now?"

"No I didn't tell you I knew Alex, you worked it out all by yourself, and Alex only confirmed it. If Kubra is going to be mad it won't be because I told you because I didn't"

There were many other reasons why Kubra was going to be mad but Piper held her tongue and kept her fears to herself.

"So how do you know Alex?"

Piper turned so that she could see into blue eyes so alike her own and she sighed softly.

"It's a very long story darling are you sure you're ready to hear it?"

Ava nodded firmly and Piper started to talk all the while keeping Ava's hand wrapped tightly in her own terrified that once her daughter knew the truth she wouldn't want her touch any longer.

"Ok well I suppose it starts when I left university in New York..."

* * *

Alex had stood in the lift looking at the control panel for what felt like forever but in reality must have only been a few minutes. She couldn't decide what to do her mind warring with conflicting thoughts and fears. She was angry and upset that much was a given, not expecting to come face to face with Piper so soon, but she was also struggling with the overwhelming urge to run back pull Piper into her embrace and sheild her from her ugly reality. A part of her was also curious she wanted to hear the conversation that was now going to happen between mother and daughter wanting to know exactly how Piper was going to explain their shared history. Would she lie tell Ava they were once nothing more than friends or would she be bold take the bull by the horns and tell her about their relationship and why it ended. Alex knew that Ava had no idea what exactly it was that both she and Kubra did for a living knowing that if she did she was certain the little blonde would have asked plenty of questions. Deep down she knew she could easily find out what Piper had said next time she saw Ava but at the moment she didn't know when that would be. Once Kubra found out that she now knew exactly who he was housing at the hotel Alex was fairly certain her contact with Ava would be greatly reduced or even stopped completely. The thought made her more upset than she cared to admit.

Sighing, frustrated with her own indecisiveness, Alex began to pace the small enclosed space feeling like a caged animal. Her stomach felt as though it was twisting tightly and as Alex recognised another of the emotions warring within her she felt a wave of anger at her own stupid sentimentality. She was deeply worried and not just for Ava. Seeing Piper again in the state she was currently in had simultaneously shocked and upset her. Whoever had attacked her this time had done a real number on her and it caused her to see red. She wished she knew which heinous man had dared to lay a finger on the blonde so that she could give them a taste of their own medicine. She had always been protective of Piper right from the moment she had met her. There was something about the way Piper had seemed so innocent and curious about the world had caused her protective streak to rise up and she was shocked at how quickly the urge had appeared even after all these years apart. Even though Piper was obviously trying hard to appear ok for Ava Alex could instantly tell she was in a lot of pain. Her posture was hunched as though her body was trying to curl into itself and her poor bruised face looked swollen and sore. Alex's first gut reaction had been to want to wrap Piper in her arms and never let go until her brain had kicked up a gear reminding her of everything the blonde had put her through. Still her heart protested that deep down she understood Piper's reasons now she was older and wiser but what she couldn't fathom was how the woman who professed her love for her daily could leave her the day her beloved mother died.

The thoughts swirled around her head, twisting her emotions leaving her torn and confused not knowing what to do. Alex let her head fall back against the wall groaning as the lift doors suddenly opened and one of Kubra's working girls made to get in.

"What floor?"

Alex stared at her for a moment before she shook her head and stepped back out into the corridor ignoring the girls disgruntled mutterings. Coming to stand in front of door number 13 she was surprised to see that the door was slightly ajar. Looking up and down the corridor making sure she was alone she reacted on impulse pushing the door open slowly she inched her way through the small gap letting out a small sigh of relief when she noted the living room was empty. Her ears pricked up as she could hear the low rumble of voices and as she stepped into the living room she noticed the main bedroom light was on, the door partially open. As she came closer to the couch the voices became clearer and Alex sat down silently so that she could listen without being caught.

"So you just left?"

Ava's voice was tinged with an emotion that to Alex sounded suspiciously like disappointment.

"Yes..."

There was silence until Ava's voice sounded once more.

"Did it make you sad?"

"Did what make me sad?"

"Leaving Alex?"

Alex held her breath waiting for Piper's answer.

"Yes so much darling I can't even begin to explain it to you. Deep down I thought I was doing the right thing, for me, but I never should have left not like that it was selfish of me"

"Did you love her?"

Ava's voice was soft, hesitant almost, her curiosity obvious.

"Yes more than I have ever loved anyone apart from you"

It was with both equal parts hurt and joy that she accepted those words Alex feeling the tears build in her eyes her chest thrumming with need.

"Sometimes I wish I had never left but then if I hadn't I wouldn't have met your Daddy"

"Daddy is nasty and horrible to you but Alex is kind and funny and brilliant!"

A soft chuckle escaped before she could stop it and Alex quickly went quiet hoping she hadn't been heard.

"Oh I know darling but if I hadn't met Daddy then I wouldn't have you sweetheart and I love you so much. I wanted you so badly and when I held you for the first time it was the best moment of my life"

There was silence once more for a few moments before Piper spoke again her voice hesitant and unsure.

"Do you understand everything I have told you or do you have more questions?"

"You said Alex was your girlfriend"

"I did"

Alex's mouth dropped open she hadn't expected Piper to be quite so honest with Ava but she also felt strangely proud that Piper had found the courage to tell her daughter the truth.

"Did she love you too?"

There was no reply and Alex felt like bursting in through the bedroom door shouting yes a hundred times over.

"Yes so much I never doubted that I know she loved me but at the time it wasn't enough..."

"Oh mummy don't cry"

Alex heard Piper's soft sobs and she physically gripped the couch cushions forcing herself to remain seated. Piper didn't deserve her attention she left, not Alex, she had caused all this. It was a mantra she forced herself to repeat over and over until Piper's sobs finally petered out and she heard Ava speak again.

"There is one thing I don't understand?"

Alex waited patiently as she heard Piper blow her nose and clear her throat.

"What's that darling?"

"You said you left because you didn't like Alex's job the one she still does now?" Piper must have nodded for Ava continued to speak "Why didn't Alex just change jobs if she loved you so much?"

A wave of unease ran over Alex as Ava asked her question she wondered how Piper would answer without giving away the true nature of her employment. Alex had never explicitly said to Piper that walking away from the cartel was something that just couldn't be done but she knew Piper had already worked this fact out. It was almost as if the day it had dawned on Piper that for Alex this was her life, not just a phase, was the day that the first crack had appeared in their relationship. One that she had been unable to smooth over no matter how many times she tried.

"Alex makes Kubra a lot of money poppet and Alex loves her job, the money and the travelling that comes with it make her happy"

Alex wanted to rage it was important yes but if she could have given it up and walked away with her life then she would have if it had meant she could have had a lifetime with her blonde haired lover. A loud yawn startled Alex from her inner monologue and she smiled as she heard Piper chuckle.

"Someone's tired I think it's time for you to go to sleep don't you think?"

Alex listened as the duvet was moved around and the light in the bedroom was dimmed to a low glow leaving the living room almost in complete darkness.

"I still love you mummy even if you did hurt Alex you said you were sorry"

"I love you too darling"

Alex could hear the emotion in Piper's voice knowing she must be feeling relieved that Ava had not shunned her for revealing their past.

"Alex won't stay mad forever mummy I think if you tell her you're sorry she will be nice to you again"

Piper's chuckle was humourless and Alex cringed slightly "She doesn't want nor need my apologies darling. I hurt her Ava I don't deserve her forgiveness I left her on her own when she needed me the most"

"Well I think you're being silly if you just say sorry then you can be friends"

"We can't be friends Ava"

Ava did not reply and Alex heard Piper's tone turn to one of gentle warning.

"I won't stop you from seeing Alex I know she's your friend but I don't want you causing mischief ok? Kubra is already going to be very angry if he finds out I've seen Alex and I don't want you to pester her about me alright?"

"Can I tell her you told me you were her girlfriend?"

Piper sighed "You can tell Alex anything you want but only if she asks ok? If Alex doesn't want to talk about it you need to zip it and not keep asking questions, you don't want to upset her do you?"

Ava must have shook her head for she heard Piper mutter a quiet good before everything went quiet and Alex presumed they were settling down to sleep. It was an odd sensation sitting here being so close to Piper and hearing her concern for her yet she still felt separated as though she had been a mere spectator to the evenings revelations. It was almost like watching and hearing the events play out on the big screen like she had not actually been involved in what was going on around her. Letting out a deep sigh she let her head fall back into the couch trying to force the tension away that had built in her neck and shoulders. She knew she should leave soon the longer she stayed the more comfortable she would get and it wasn't fair to Piper or Ava her continued presence in their home while they were both unaware. The thought of leaving caused her insides to twist she felt as though she needed to stay and keep them both safe, not let Piper endure anymore hurt. Knowing that both Piper and Ava were close was strangely comforting, she felt at ease for the first time that evening and she revelled in the sensation knowing it wouldn't last for long.

Straining her eyes into the dark Alex tried to make out the detail in her surroundings but in the low light she found she couldn't. Moving quietly she noticed the small lamp on an end table next to the arm chair and she moved stealthily flicking the switch. The room was instantly bathed in a soft warm glow and Alex smiled pleased that she could now take in every detail of Piper's home. Alice and wonderland was now sat on the coffee table and Alex reached for it eagerly. Knowing now who the book belonged to she flipped through the pages until she landed on the second to last blank page. Her own hand writing stared back at her and she smiled at the message she had written all those years ago.

'If you my dear are Alice ..

Then just who am I in this little adventure?

The mad hatter it would seem ...

All my love AV'

Piper had laughed hard when she had found the inscription one day months after Alex had written the words one night as Piper had fallen asleep against her. The fact that she had kept this copy only pulled at Alex's heartstrings and she found herself curious as to why Piper had kept this particular souvenir of their time together. Placing the book back down Alex sighed heavily and raised a hard to her face. Pushing her glasses up onto her head she rubbed at her tired eyes and wished for an easy solution to her current predicament. So engrossed in her thoughts she did not hear the telltale sound of the floorboards creaking and she only became aware she was not alone when Piper's strained voice whispered into the room.

"What are you doing here?"


	13. Chapter 13

**A.N To all the reviewers and the people who sent me pm's asking me to continue thank you your encouragement has made me finally make time to sit down and get this chapter finished and uploaded. Thanks for sticking with me guys and I will do my best to try and update more regularly.**

Piper was equal parts relieved and alarmed to find Alex sat in her living room she had thought Kubra had returned when she first noticed the living room light switch on. It had taken her a good few minutes to get her fear under control enough to be able to even breath let alone leave the safety of her bedroom. Now she didn't know what to do Alex continued to stare at her blankly as she wrapped her robe tightly around herself and closed the bedroom door quietly so as not to disturb her sleeping daughter.

"Alex?"

The sound of her name seemed to break Alex from her trance and she moved so that she was sitting completely upright, legs and arms crossed, her posture guarded. Her face was expressionless and Piper knew it was Alex's way of protecting herself; one that she herself had used many times over the last few months.

"I had every intention of leaving and not returning"

Piper moved slowly her aching body not allowing her to move at any sort of increased pace and she sat down heavily on the chair knowing that it would be a mistake to sit any closer to her ex girlfriend. If she could have remained standing she would have but she knew by the shake in her legs that it would be futile to even try. She did not want Alex to think she was trying to gain sympathy and she certainly didn't want to come across as weak. She already felt the burning shame wash over her from her predicament and the thought of telling Alex, her knowing what she had done, made her feel sick. The longer she could put off that particular conversation the better.

"You shouldn't be here Al"

The old nickname rolled off her tongue effortlessly and she winced as she watched Alex flinch. A pained grimace flashed across her beautiful features just for a moment before her mask of indifference returned.

"I know"

No more words were offered and Piper squirmed slightly, her earlier painkillers were beginning to wear off, the burning pain between her thighs making itself known once more. Sighing she struggled to stand using the arm of the chair to pull herself up all the while ignoring Alex's burning gaze that was causing her skin to prickle nervously.

"Do you want a drink?"

Alex shook her head and Piper busied herself with her own glass of water quickly knocking back two more painkillers. At the rate she was taking them they were becoming less effective and she knew she would need to curb her dependency on them. Once she was sat back in the chair she allowed herself a moment to study the woman sat across from her. Although she looked tired and stressed Piper felt almost jealous at how little Alex had changed in 10 years. Apart from the missing blue tips in her hair and a few more lines around her eyes and mouth Alex looked barely any different to the last time Piper had seen her. She knew in comparison she looked haggard, exhausted, nothing like the carefree self obsessed youngster she was when she left Alex in Paris. Piper knew her staring was probably making Alex uncomfortable but she couldn't tear her eyes away no matter how much she tried.

"How much of that conversation did you hear?"

"Enough that I was surprised you told Ava the truth"

"It's the least I could do. She asked me to explain I wasn't about to lie to her again and I was never ashamed of you Alex despite how it came across when we were together"

Alex snorted and Piper knew she didn't believe her. She wanted to know which parts of the conversation she had heard but she also didn't think she had it in to her explain her feelings not without causing more pain and aggravation. Lost in her thoughts she continued to stare as Alex fidgeted with her hands.

"Was it really that bad?"

Alex's voice was soft and Piper startled from her staring frowned not understanding the question spoken quietly.

"Was it really so bad at home you had to let him whore you out to whoever he fancies"

Piper's face burned with shame and she let her head fall forward no longer feeling strong enough to meet Alex's inquisitive stare. Trying to answer was more difficult than she had imagined the words escaping her and so she remained quiet.

"I need you to explain Piper I think I deserve that don't you?"

Piper nodded slowly but still she was hesitant "Ava says you understand what it's like to have a useless father which means she's already told you about Larry"

"That is true but I want to hear it from you. This is all kinds of fucked up Piper and I need to try and make sense of it in my own head"

Alex's voice cracked slightly and Piper raised her head so that she could look into deep green eyes.

"Because right now I'm only just holding it together and you owe me, you fucking know you do. So how about starting to explain how the fuck you came to be one of Kubra's whores?"

Hearing the desperation in Alex's voice Piper's argument died on her tongue and she sighed with heavy resignation. Keeping her gaze pointedly on the hands clasped tightly in her lap she began, knowing if she looked at Alex her resolve would falter and nothing would be being explained in any way which Alex could understand.

"Larry was my fiancé and I thought I loved him he was what my parents wanted for me and he fitted the image I had in my head of the perfect husband. A few years after Ava was born he was struggling to find work and in his frustration he turned to drink. When the drink no longer satisfied him I became the target for his anger"

Piper paused and took a deep breath before continuing "I could handle the beatings, the forced sex..."

Piper's voice cracked and and she noticed Alex's knuckles whiten at her words her fists clenching tightly.

"I learnt to deal with it as best I could but one day he was in a towering rage and he came frighteningly close to hurting Ava and I knew we couldn't stay"

Piper raised her head and looking at Alex directly her voice clear and composed "Ava is everything to me, she's the only good thing I have ever accomplished and I wasn't going to stay with that monster while he started to use his fists on her"

Alex nodded her face pinched slightly, about what Piper was unsure, until Alex spoke her voice hoarse "She's a credit to you and I do understand your need to keep her safe but surely there were other ways?"

"I had no one Alex I had no friends and I hadn't spoken to my family in three years Larry made sure of it"

Piper paused waiting for Alex to respond when she didn't only continuing to state she carried on.

"I met Kubra at a club were, out of desperation, I was trying to get a job as a barmaid they had turned me down and I was at my wits end. I was nearly out of money staying in a grotty run down bedsit. I was desperate Alex his offer at the time seemed like an easy way out. He was offering a home, somewhere clean and stable were Ava could be safe, I had to take it I just had to"

"Did you know what his conditions were when you accepted?"

Swallowing hard Piper nodded the shame washing over her as Alex inhaled sharply.

"He said I would never see the same man twice and that it would be one, two a week at the most. I justified it in my own head that's it was easy work in return for a home and money, I mean come on lying there with your legs open is hardly difficult is it? I could spend most of my time with Ava and she would be happy"

Piper could hear the desperation in her own voice she felt she needed Alex to understand that it was not something she agreed to lightly but had done so only with her daughter's safety in mind.

"I only ever wanted Ava to be safe, happy and healthy and although yes it disgusts me what I have to do to provide her with those basic needs I will keep doing it because I can't return to Larry and I cannot provide her a home if I don't"

Piper let one lone tear fall down her cheek before she brushed it away just as quickly as it fell, she did not want nor need Alex's pity.

"If I could do this any other way I would this is not the life I imagined for me or for Ava but she's safe and that's all that matters"

"Not when she's having to live like this"

Piper looked at Alex with confusion she steadfastly believed that Ava was safe even if the price of her safety was becoming physically higher every day she stayed.

"You think it's easy for her to come back home and see what happens to her mother when these men treat you the way they do?"

"I have explained that it won't happen again"

"But it has hasn't it, this is the second time in barely a week how the fuck do you think she feels when she has to see you like this?"

Alex's gaze was wild her arms flailing her expression one of pure disgust. The self loathing crept around her like a cloak and Piper shrank back as far as she could into the couch as though she was trying to hide. Right now she wished for a miracle one that would take her away from this reality just for a moment while she regrouped. When the restriction in her throat loosened she forced herself to reply, her voice at first whispered timidly but growing in strength as her own frustration bubbled.

"It's the best I can offer her. Ava has all her basic needs if we had stayed with Larry he would have eventually hurt her I just know he would. What would you have done Alex stayed there and let him beat her?!"

"I wouldn't have got with such a fucking deadbeat caveman in the first place!"

Rage surged through Piper's veins and she couldn't help but shout her response in anger.

"Do you think I don't regret the way it turned out do you really think I'm happy whoring myself out? Do you?!"

Alex didn't reply instead she just continued to look at her in frustration. Piper shifted her sore body from side to side trying to ease the ache that was settled deep in her muscles. With her anger turning to melancholy she leant back and reached for the picture of Ava on the side table it was taken at the hospital when she was just a few hours old. Running her fingertips over the picture she smiled remembering the overwhelming happiness she had felt when she held her beautiful baby for the first time.

"I always said I would be a good mum that I would make sure Ava had everything she could ever wish for. A stable home life and a mother that told her she loved her everyday. I tell her, I always do because I love her more than anything but it isn't enough. I feel like I'm failing her and it hurts so much"

Piper did not allow the tears that so desperately wanted to escape instead she just shook her head scowling at her own failings.

"It was only ever meant to be a part time thing once I had some money I was going to leave, find a proper job and decent place to live, get Ava settled in a new school were she could make friends. But I cannot leave ... he won't allow it"

Alex's expression faltered at this her face changing to one of shock.

"I'm sure if you just spoke to Kubra-"

"No Alex I've made my bed now I've got to lie in it. I cannot leave trust me I've asked but as long as Ava is kept safe I'll do as I'm told and stay"

Alex looked taken aback and Piper felt a small stab of satisfaction she wished she could tell Alex exactly what sort of person Kubra was but she knew it would do no good. With no more left to say they sat in silence and Piper could feel the exhaustion beginning to take its toll.

"Did you ever think that you would see me?"

"No it was a condition both me and Kubra agreed on instantly"

Piper watched Alex recoil back as though she had been slapped and Piper flinched feeling instantly guilty she should have rephrased that particular sentence. Alex stood up abruptly and pulled on her leather jacket.

"So you just decided between you that I would be kept in the dark that this was something I didn't need to fucking know about?!"

Before Piper could begin to answer Alex was already heading to the door.

"Wait Alex where are you going?"

"To see Kubra I can't stand for this and he owes me a fucking explanation!"

Pure fear gripped Piper's heart and she began to choke and stutter in her urge to stop Alex from leaving.

"No Alex please-..."

As Piper rushed forward a sharp pain radiated from her ribs across her body causing her to stumble. Falling forward she tried to brace herself but she failed coming to land awkwardly on her side on the rough carpet. White hot pain clouded her senses and she couldn't stop the half gasp half yelp that fell from her lips.

"Jesus Piper"

With her eyes screwed shut and the pain dulling her other senses Piper didn't see or hear Alex approaching. A gentle touch to her head startled her from the pain and when she opened her eyes slowly Alex was crouched down next to her.

"Please, please don't go to Kubra you can't tell him you have seen me you just can't"

"Why? Surely he knows that there may have come a point I would find out. I've been looking after your kid for christ's sake she's the fucking spitting image of you"

Piper shook her head from side to side and reached for Alex's hands. As soon as there skin came into contact Piper felt the familiar sensation of electricity travel up her arms from the touch and she shivered involuntarily. Forcing her thoughts back to the matter at hand Piper raised her head and met Alex's stormy green eyes.

"Please if not for me for Ava? I'm begging you Alex you can't tell him we've met I can't take anymore trouble"

Piper finally let the tears fall she had been holding back and she sobbed clutching at Alex's hands like a lifeline.

"I know you don't owe me anything, I know what I did to you was unforgivable but you can't tell him, you just can't"

* * *

As Piper wept uncontrollably at her feet Alex felt an wave of pity and desperation wash over her. It made her skin prickle and her heart beat wildly in her chest. She was angry, so unbelievably angry she wanted to rage and yell at Kubra and tell him exactly what she thought about what he had inflicted on her ex girlfriend. It seemed like the most rational thing to do but with Piper so inconsolable she felt a prick of unease. This whole situation was fucked up and Alex felt as though she was only scraping the surface of what exactly was going on here. Slowly Alex pried her hands from Piper's grasp and stood up. Now looking down at her ex-girlfriend Alex felt desperately sorry for the blonde. In all the time they had spent together all those years ago Alex had never seen Piper like this, broken, defeated and it made her own heart clench. Ignoring her brain's warning Alex went with her heart and she bent down gently picking Piper up from the floor she walked her over to the couch and sat down heavily next to her. Their knees almost touching Alex stared at Piper taking in the sight of her, scrutinising every detail. Piper looked, for lack of a better word, haunted. Her eyes were rimmed red with deep black bags underneath. She looked to be at least a stone lighter than what Alex remembered and with Piper's already thin frame it made her look almost ill. When Piper had first started talking Alex felt nothing but revulsion for what she had lowered herself to but after hearing her heartfelt declaration she was beginning to waver her anger receding.

"I'm so sorry Alex"

Alex turned to Piper curiously wondering exactly what Piper was apologising for.

"I've turned up in your life and I'm causing emotional chaos. If you feel you need to speak to Kubra I won't stop you, this is your life, your world and I'm sorry"

Piper's voice was flat and lifeless Alex didn't really know what to say so instead she concentrated on the more pressing issue at hand. Piper was sat hunched her body turning into itself and Alex knew she was in a lot of pain.

"Where does it hurt Pipes?"

Alex felt her ears burn as the familiar nickname fell from her lips. Piper did not show any sign that she had registered her slip of the tongue and Alex was grateful.

"My ribs"

Alex guessed as much and ignoring her brains warning that this was not a good idea Alex stood up and made her way to the kitchen.

"Take your top off"

Alex busied herself with taking a bag of ice out of the freezer so that she couldn't see Piper's reaction. When she turned back around Piper was still sat in the same position and Alex sighed as she made her way back to her.

"Piper take your top off let me see those ribs"

"I can't"

The words where whispered and Alex swallowed down her irritation.

"Do you need me to help you?"

Piper shook her head looking up at her from under her eyelashes and Alex swore she felt her heart ache with sympathy.

"I'm not wearing a bra"

Alex tried not to but she couldn't help it at watching Piper's pale cheeks turn red with embarrassment she started to chuckle only laughing harder when Piper looked at her affronted.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Well come on it's not like it's anything I haven't seen before"

Piper smiled at her sheepishly and Alex fought back the urge to smile in return. She was beginning to waver the easy banter threatening to overwhelm 10 years worth of hurt and her brain screamed she couldn't allow it. Not saying anything else Alex averted her eyes as Piper struggled to pull off her t-shirt, once it had been dropped to one side Alex turned her eyes back to Piper gasping as she did. From her naval to her just under her breasts Piper's torso was a patchwork of bruises, older yellow mixed with angry red and Alex felt her anger begin to build once more.

"Alex?"

Snapping herself from her anger she looked back at Piper who was watching her worriedly. Following Piper's line of sight she realised Piper was staring at her hands which were shaking with her rage. Alex forced the tension from her body and tried to focus on the task in hand kneeling onto the floor she ran a careful hand down Piper's side making a mental note of when Piper's expression became pained. Once she had worked out the most offending area she pressed the bag of ice to Piper's side letting out a sympathetic hiss as Piper tried hard not to cry out.

"I don't think they're broken just bruised"

Piper nodded through gritted teeth and Alex reached for her dressing gown wrapping it around her shoulders.

"You need to keep that ice pressed tight it'll help with the bruising"

Piper reached for her hand and Alex allowed her to squeeze her fingers so a moment before she pulled away.

"Thank you"

"Who did this to you?"

The gentle smile that had adorned Piper's face moments ago faded and Alex knew Piper wasn't going to tell her even before she spoke.

"It doesn't matter"

"It does to me"

Piper looked at her with confusion "It shouldn't I know what I did to you when I left"

Alex averted her eyes not wanting Piper to see the emotion that she knew would be there.

"You don't know anything"

"I know I broke your heart, I know that losing the two people who meant the most to you in one day almost destroyed you"

Alex could feel herself becoming angry hating the fact that what Piper was saying was the truth.

"Alright you did but it doesn't change the fact that I want to know who hurt you"

"Well it should, you should hate me I wouldn't blame you if you did. I left you when you needed me the most in a foreign country the day your mother die-"

"Enough!"

Alex couldn't listen anymore with Piper's words spoken so matter of factly they were hitting her emotional self hard making her feel physically sick. The feelings from that day that she thought were buried were threatening to rise up to the surface and she was determined to not let Piper see how broken she had made her. Taking a deep breath Alex forced her anger away and glanced at the clock on the mantle piece it was almost half past two and Alex once again felt torn she knew she should leave but she didn't know whether she could.

"I should go"

"I think that would be for the best"

Alex nodded although she felt wounded at Piper's words even though she knew she shouldn't. Looking once more at Piper beaten and bruised Alex felt desperation well up inside of her.

"I don't know whether I can"

"You owe me nothing Alex I have accepted that this is my life you can walk away knowing that I have made my peace with it"

If Piper thought she was making her feel better she wasn't in fact Alex felt worse. Piper shouldn't have to have made peace with an existence that was this mess she had found herself in.

"I left you, it's been ten years Alex don't let the fact that I'm injured cloud the way I know you must feel about me"

Alex ground her teeth hard it irked her that Piper was saying everything her brain needed to here, giving her an escape, an easy way out.

"All I ask is that you keep your promise to Ava, be there for her, be her friend. She genuinely adores you. Obviously you have that effect on Chapman women"

Alex smiled knowing it was the response Piper was looking for and she nodded.

"I won't abandon her I meant what I said to her before"

"Thank you now please Alex I need you to go"

Turning to the door Alex gestured for Piper to remain seated and she was pleased when Piper didn't protest.

"I won't tell Kubra I have seen you"

Piper's body relaxed at her words and it made Alex even more suspicious of her boss and the control he seemed to have.

"It has been good to see you Alex even under the circumstances"

Alex allowed a ghost of a smile to cross her lips before she nodded her head in agreement. For all the stress and hurt it had caused it had been worth it to see Piper once more in the flesh.

"Look after yourself won't you?"

Her tone was pleading but in that moment Alex didn't care it felt wrong leaving this way but she didn't know what else to do.

"Goodbye Alex"

Tears welled in Piper's eyes and Alex forced her own tears away as she opened the door and spoke one last time before she left her voice cracking over the words.

"Bye Kid"


End file.
